The Retreat
by Atheniandream
Summary: For Harvey Specter, it's finally the right time... *Set around Season 4*
1. Chapter 1

_Notes: This fic will look back 5 years and back to present, so it will flip around a bit, but is set around the Two Retreats (Past is in Italics)_

* * *

**_The Retreat_**

_By Atheniandream_

* * *

The first time their relationship changed, at the beginning, they'd been so new to each other, so fresh in each others lives that when everything had ended and their endings and beginnings had merged into one, it had all been _such a change_, such a gear shift. And naturally, they'd taken to it like ducks on the water, jumping ship and shaping futures, so much so that somehow it had felt...acceptable. Natural, even, considering what their future had in store.

_Then ten years passed._

Things around them had changed,

Feelings between them had lingered,

And through it all _they had remained the same to each other._

_Primary in each others lives._

But It just so happened, that one small moment, a pocket worth of opportunity to change things between them,

Presented itself, to Harvey Specter.

_At the exact moment that he needed it to._

* * *

_**Who am I, Darling, to you,**_

_**Who am I,**_

_**Gonna tell you stories of mine,**_

_**Who I am, to you...**__ - 'Promise' By Ben Howard_

* * *

Harvey's palms are sweating. They never sweat. And she's staring at him in that way she does. _This must be what premeditation does to a man, he thinks._

"What's going on?" Donna says sharply, glaring at him from her side of the car.

"Nothing." He shrugs, pulling his shoulder back to let the ligaments crick against one another as his eyes find the moving lines in the road.

She sits forward then, silently examining him. He knows the signs, as she starts at his tie, then his hair; meticulously investigating his various tells. She sits back, frowning, dissatisfied as her arms fold around her in discontentment.

"There's something..._odd _about you." She says, pressing her lips together, her kohl-rimmed eyes staring suspiciously at him.

"Hasn't there always been?" He remarks heavily, his eyebrows raising.

"No. This is different. New Shirt. New tie? And new..._hair_?" She accuses, gesturing to his slight side parting.

"New man?" He offers.

"Nobody is ever_ that _new, Harvey." She remarks. "What's going on with you?"

He sighs then, a forced gruffness entering his tone. "You gonna be like this all week?" He asks, the weight of frustration propping up his words.

"Depends. _Are you going to hide things from me all week_?" She counters. The sharp tack in her voice nails his objection to the wall.

"Maybe.." He mumbles, looking out the window, the outskirts of New York passing them by with the even seconds.

_She doesn't press it this time. _Doesn't force the issue.

_She must know. Somehow… _he thinks to himself. Of course it doesn't surprise him in the least. It was part of the reason that he hadn't wanted her involved in arranging the Partner's Retreat in the first place. She'd..._ask too many questions_.

He's glad that Jessica had taken to making all the arrangements. Planning retreats wasn't exactly his idea of a good time; Jessica wasn't blind to the fact. Although, he had insisted that he and Donna get good rooms. That was important._ A must. _He'd washed away Jessica's remark of a 'room together' and pointed out the inappropriate nature of such a comment. From the moment Jessica had arranged the retreat, Harvey had had flashbacks of the last time they had gone away.

It had been five years ago, about 6 months after his Dad had passed. He remembered, because it was still hard to function, with the drenched memory of his father hanging over him, and a Brother who still wasn't dealing fully with the aftermath living far away from him. He hadn't been in the mood to take time out for either. In fact, it has been the _last thing_ on his mind….

"_You're going." Donna ordered, standing her ground as her hands clamped down around her waist with that defiant look about her._

"_Excuse me?" He remarked roughly, his eyes widening._

_He wasn't in the mood for this shit from her, of all people. "Donna. I told you. I'm not going. I have too much work as it is." He replied, gesturing at the many piles of paperwork stacked up around him._

"_Harvey. Everybody is going." She remarked heavily._

"_Then It'll make it look even better; the only Junior Partner still kicking ass, whilst the rest live it up in some cabin in the woods?" He replied smugly. "It's a bigger ticket." Anything to get him up the ladder faster..._

"_It's not a cabin. It's a hotel. A Five star Resort. And you need this. It's been….a hard year, Harvey." She said, her voice trailing off at the end._

"_How many times do I have to tell you?" He replied, his voice beginning to rise as he looked at her._

"_What...about…__**me**__?" She countered, picking the word out the air. When he finally looked her dead in the eye she pressed the fact, as if it was her intention all along. "Huh?" She said, looking at him with her eyes wide._

"_What about...__**you**__?" He asked, his brow furrowing and eyes wide at her odd outburst._

"_Have you thought that maybe__** I **__need a break, Harvey?" She said, her eyes rounding then with a wateriness._

_He frowned immediately. She was far too good at this..._

"_I…" He stumbled, the thought lingering on an answer a moment too long. until he finally sighed, heavily, almost waiting for the opportunity that she'd take just to jump in._

"_I never take a holiday. And I work myself into the ground most weeks...__**for you**__, I might add. Don't you think that perhaps I need a little time off every now and then?"_

"_Donna I…"_

"_I'm tired Harvey. I __**never**__ take holidays. Not even holiday days. My feet need a week off, and my brain needs a year. But it'll cope with a week." She said, that hard earned look painted on her face._

_He knew it was a tactic. But she was right all the same. He let her continue._

"_You know you can't do this job without me. And I'm not going to be here, so." She pressed, her voice cloying and delicate as she glanced over his paperwork, the lack of eye contact and placing of blame making his shoulders ache._

"_I could fire you...for taking unauthorised leave, you know?" He warned softly, rocking on his heels with a held smile._

"_Not if it's work related. And Jessica already signed me off...But, it's your call." She said then, her eyes purposeful. She walked towards him very slowly, setting herself up. It occured to him that there was something mildly seductive about the way she was swaying towards him. Hefelt that urge to go out and find himself a beautiful stranger over take him. "__**I'll make up stories about you to Louis**__." She bartered, pulling his thought away as she took a step towards him._

"_He'd be too scared to spread them." He assured her, standing his ground._

"_Not if I make them deliciously true. __**And tell Norma**__." She said, letting the vowel stretch out at the end, as if it in and of itself was enough of a threat. Which it...might be. She smiled then, her chest rising in a deliberate sigh of victory before he had even buckled under the weight of her well laid gauntlet._

_He felt his shoulders slump in defeat. "Fine." He grumbled, watching her saunter away with a self satisfied smile. "But I want the best room. With a view!" He called after her._

"_Already booked it." She threw over her shoulder with an effortless smile._

* * *

She was sure. As she could ever be.

_Harvey was...hiding things from her._

Since Mike's leaving they had gradually grown somewhat...closer. Naturally, with the boy wonder gone and him still needing council and her to fill that day-to-day void that Mike's half departure had left, she, as a result had thrown herself into her job with gusto. _For him._ And she'd been enough, it seemed. More than enough for him lately. But the closeness had opened up a question, a strange discrepancy between them.

_A 'what if', as it were._

Not that she wasn't aware of his...habits.

He'd pretty much pinged back like a human rubber band, the moment Scottie had exited the firm, something about Mike and Scottie seemed to make him rip the nicotine patch - of sorts - off and jump back to his old ways.

It annoyed her at first. Annoyed her how he could be so dismissive of his own growth, and how far he'd come in that year. But she'd swallowed it down in favour of him coping. And she was there, for those moments where he strayed a little too far.

Luckily Mike being there part time had actually kept a lid on that side of his emotional development. She even watched him leave the office before her in order to 'catch a drink with the kid'. That at least was the kind of change that she liked to see.

"It's nice...that Mike still gets to attend the retreat." She says, breaking the silence.

"Well he's a client now. He used to work for the firm, and Louis asked for Rachel to be there, so he's also a plus one."

"_A plus one_. Who'd have thought." She remarks, playing with the edge of cardigan before her eyes meet his.

"Kid's all grown up." He nods slightly, his head swaying to one side in thought.

"_I want another_." She jokes, glancing towards him before looking back out the window.

"I'm not ready. That one was enough."

"Harvey, there_ will be_ another associate." She says then, looking to him.

"There won't be another Mike." He says matter-of-factly.

"Harvey…" She sighs. _He's right. There won't be._

"_**There won't**_." He echoes. They may be on the same page, but it's never been her job to point out the hard truths that _even she doesn't want to face_.

"Maybe not. But there was a Mike in the first place. And that's a good thing. _Besides_...since when have you ever been scared to go it alone? You managed ten years and got to Senior Partner without him. You can do that again."

"It's different now. I have nowhere to climb. Something about having a partner this last year made me realize…"

"What?"

"It's better with two." He says, throwing a look her way.

"Don't you mean three?" She says, smiling.

"You know you're the sidekick, right?" He says with a smirk.

"What? Like Batgirl?" She rolls her eyes. _He's impossibly...guy-ish sometimes._

"Or Black Widow?" He offers, pouting slightly.

"Maybe Catwoman?" She counters, interest lighting up her hazel coloured eyes.

"Or that redhead assistant in Ghostbusters?" He quips, waiting for her to react.

"Catwoman." She says, glaring at him to state her claim.

"The Michelle Pfeiffer one, or the remake?"

"You'll just have to use your…_imagination_." She says, that sly look on her face and a slight pout.

He clears his throat, looking back out the window with a smirk.

He knows it's a joke, but lately… whenever she says something or does something that's even the slightest bit playful..._it reminds him_.

_Of the old days_.

When they were just figuring each other out. Or rather, when he was playing catch up to her three hundred miles an hour...

_Donna halted, suitcase in hand as she watched the very still form of her Boss, lent against his car, looking out at her with sunglasses and smirk._

"_What are you doing here?" She asked roughly, eyeing him from the sidewalk._

"_You're still going to the retreat, right?" He confirmed, pulling down his shades a touch to glare at her._

"_Yes… you're… driving me?" She asked, her eyes widening at the strangeness of the event._

"_Beats driving up there alone." He shrugged, pushing off of the car._

"_Oh. That's cute. Feeling lonely?" She replied sarcastically, tilting her head. "No waitresses that could entertain you on the ride up?" She joked, that sly sharpness in her tone._

"_Get in the car," He said roughly, giving her a look as he walked towards her then, taking her suitcase from her._

_When she slid into the car, she looked up to see Ray nodding from the front seat._

"_Well if it isn't my favourite Redhead." He called to the back of the car, grinning widely._

"_Ray! How are you?" She replied warmly, her face lighting up as Harvey closed the passenger door behind himself._

"_All the better to see you, my dear." He smiled back at her._

"_Ray. I pay you to drive...not to hit on my assistant." Harvey chimed in good naturedly, if not an edge of indignation as he looked towards the front of the car._

"_Harvey," Donna objected, scowling at him._

"_I can't help it!" Ray answered. "She's a knockout."_

"_She's something, that's for sure." He said, that sharp, slightly humour filled look in his eye. She glared back with just as much vigor._

"_Don't listen to Harvey, Ray. And thank you." She said, sitting back, as the car started to make it's way steadily uptown. _

_Her attention was caught by the buzzing of her phone._

_Harvey looked up when she sighed, stuffing her bag into her phone._

"_What's up?" He asked, interested by her stealthy action._

"_Oh...Louis is already there." She remarked, rolling her eyes._

"_How does he have your number?" He asked; a mite of irritation creeping up his back._

"_Sadly...I gave it to him." She sighs._

"_That guy is…"_

"_Harvey." She chided. "Louis...deep down, he has a good heart."_

"_Yeah under all that...cat loving, brace wearing hostility, sure." He said, sneering at the thought of Louis's strange obsession. "Plus he has a thing for you, you know?"_

"_No he does not," She said, dismissing him. "If anything, he has a thing for __**you**__."_

"_He's not…" He asked, his mouth agape at her comment._

"_No. I don't think so. But...you never know… he did ballet as a kid."_

_Harvey spluttered. "You're serious? Not even __**I**__ knew that..."_

"_He studied at...somewhere quite good actually, I can't remember, I wasn't really listening."_

_He laughed, looking towards the passing city to his left. "I don't ever want to think about Louis in lycra."_

_They both fell silent for moment, collectively taken aback at their separate imaginations._

"_Is it just me or are you picturing him in… pink?" She offered then._

"_I just don't know how to erase it from my brain…" He squirmed, shaking his shoulders._

"_If anyone was going to be a Ballerina, I'd have pictured Jessica. That graceful way she stalks the halls. Only years worth of someone slapping your back straight could ever encourage that kind of posture."_

"_I have no idea about Jessica's childhood. She's not the biggest sharer." He remarked._

_It was a point though… He knew almost nothing about his own mentor. Sure, he knew little bits, here or there. But nothing concrete. No real insight into her life. He supposed that was why they got on; shared disinterest in eachothers pasts._

"_Hello Kettle, hows the Pot doing today?" She quipped dryly._

_His head immediately fell to one side, looking at her, unperturbed by her insinuation of joke._

"_You could just __**ask her**__, Harvey." She offered tenderly._

"_I don't need to know." He shrugged, disinterested._

"_She tells __**me**__ things." Donna remarked, then straightening in her seat._

"_That's different. Everybody tells you everything."_

* * *

She had been lucky this time. Their awkward silence, spanning the little over the hour and a half left of their four hour journey had been overtaken once the Adirondack mountains had come into view, imposing and strong and vivid in shape, with the clouds casting a dark blue shadow over it's greying mountains. They had barely changed a day in what seemed like twenty years. She remembered summers up here with her family, camping out in some remote location with only the basic of needs with them; her sister Darcy complaining the entire time about the lack of amenities as her Dad struggled to put up three tents and her Mom quietly unpacked the car.

It was strange to think of how different her life was now compared to then. How separate it was from her earthy, homegrown youth. _Both of theirs_, when you thought about Harvey as well. Growing up playing ball, a younger brother to annoy and watch over and the weight of the world on his shoulders as he tackled his mother's affairs and idolizing his stoic musician father who wasn't there as much as he realized he needed to be._ Maybe it wasn't exactly the same_, she thought to herself. _Still,_ a far cry from his streamlined life and high flying career of today.

Her attention catches at Harvey fidgeting slightly. Her eyes run down the seams of his cream jersey. It's been an age since she's seen him wear anything other than a suit. He looks so very different without his Tom Ford armor on. But she knows more than most how the suit has never made the man. Sure, it had solidified certain things over the years, and with age came the relaxed confidence of a man at the top of his game. But he was just as guarded and sharp-set with or without the cufflinks.

But as he sits there in the car, as she watches him quietly drifting in and out of thought he looks very unlike a Lawyer. _Just… like a man._

"What?" He asks softly, his dark eyes scrutinizing her as they lean towards tired.

"I...nothing." She says, shutting her mouth and looking away.

His eyes flash, immediately annoyed with her at her holding back. "No, Donna. What?" He shuffles, raising his hand in questioning.

"It's just...been a while since I've seen you out of a suit, that's all." She says, smiling softly.

"Yeah. Me too." He says, looking at himself, before sitting back slightly. "I guess we've not had much free time lately."

"We?" She asks incredulously.

"What? You're telling me you still manage to have a life outside of work?"

"Believe it or not Harvey, my work is_ not _my life." She misses the disbelief on his face, as her eyes focus on the vivid landscape of swooping green valleys and rippling cloud that start to surround them.

He leans forward, clearly not convinced by her wavering answer. "You put in just about as many hours as I do, 6 days a week." He says, his finger pointing on the leather seat between them. "You're telling me you still get to have something for yourself at the end of every day?"

"Not _every _day." She says, hearing him scoff at her answer. "But I go to the theatre every sunday. One show, maybe two. I have lunch with Rachel at least once a week, and let's not pretend that don't I skip out for a cocktail some afternoons when you're busy. And I go on dates…occasionally." She feels her volume fall a little at the end.

"Really?"

"Yes. _**I have a life**__, _Harvey. I know it's not featured in _**your**_ life on a day to day basis, but."

"I...don't have a life." He admits, shrugging.

"Well, _of course you don't_. You're married to your work. It's not exactly a well hidden fact, Harvey. Everybody notices." She remarks, drawn to looking out the window once again. She's not sure why the words agitate her, instead stuffing the thought further into her mind.

"Maybe I..._don't want to be married to work anymore_." He says then, catching her attention.

"Really?" She looks around, noticing the strange expression on his face. "Are you okay?" She asks, that sudden humour of a sarcastic comment on her face.

"I've been thinking…" He starts.

"About?" She asks, feeling the seriousness in his features.

"What I want..._in life_." He says.

"And this isn't what you want? Is this where you tell me you want to become an artist, and rent a space in the garment district?" She jokes, looking at him discouragingly.

"I want...more._ I think_...I think I want... **the whole deal**."

"What do you mean. Like...like a… family?" She feels her gut tighten slightly at the vague possibility.

"Yeah." He affirms, nodding. She notices him looking down for a fraction of a second.

"Harvey, you realize of course that for that to happen, successfully, you actually need to date a girl longer than one night, and partake in what some people consider a successful long term 'relationship'?"

She can spot his 'don't patronize me, Donna' look a mile off. _It's more potent when he's less than a foot away..._

"I know that." He says heavily.

"_Scottie was right_." She says quietly, almost to herself.

"About what?" He fires at her, an immediate edge in his voice.

"She'd said...that you'd changed."

"I have. Just because it didn't work out with Scottie doesn't mean that I don't still want..._that_."

"You really _have _changed." She says. It's possible that she's taken aback, her heartbeat racing slightly faster at the sudden change in his world.

"No one's getting any younger, Donna."

"Excuse me, do not involve me in this!" She laughs, bend at the ridiculousness of his statement.

"Well haven't you ever thought about it? You're forty." He says, giving her a look.

"Don't ever say that to me again." She points at him, narrowing her eyes.

"It's not a _bad_ age for you. But, don't you...want kids at some point?"

"Of course. I also wanted the white picket fence, and a gardener; a labrador retriever and a husband with great shoulders but..._things don't always happen the way we want them to_, Harvey."

"Great shoulders?" He asks, frowning.

"The point is, when I was in my twenties, I didn't think I'd be still living in the city at forty. I'm not complaining but...things change."

"Really? I thought you were a city girl through and through…"

"You know what I mean. It just...never happened for me."

"There's still time, Donna." He says, the words tender somehow.

"No. I don't think there is." She considers, noticing the scenery neaten around them.

"Why not?" He asks.

"Because_ that ship_ has…" Suddenly her throat is dry and her words dissipate into the air, as they arrive at their destination. "Wow. We're finally here." She says, looking up towards the huge White houses, lodges with balconies overhanging with draping foliage and delicate hanging flowers. "Wow, this place is…" She sighs, her eyes flicking to the towering hill of resort that rises in front of them.

"_Large_." He muses, taking in the views, if only half still connected to their conversation. "Jessica said it's one of the best Retreats around." He comments.

"It certainly looks that way." She said, her face lighting up as she looks out at the large expanse of sun toasted water. "I haven't been to Lake Placid for a..._very long time_."

"Well, then...welcome back." He remarks, their eyes meeting. The way he's looking at her makes her face tingle.

She doesn't hear him sigh heavily when she gets out of the car without him.

* * *

Thought I may as well start putting this out! Aiming for a Chapter every few days.

Please feed the kitty! A~


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed. Great to know everyone's enjoying it!

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

* * *

_The place was pretty stunning_, Harvey had to admit. Jessica..._had been right_. As much as he would never admit it to her, after hearing her gloat about the choice, she had actually made the right one. He follows Donna as she wanders ahead with her wheeled suitcase, taking in the ornate architecture and oak paneled walls, her striking almost-tangerine hair fitting in perfectly with the rich reds and bottle green upholstery of period chairs and delicate flower arrangements.

_Trust Jessica to pick the girliest lodge… _he thinks, rolling his eyes at his surroundings as he nears reception.

"Welcome to the Mirror Lake Inn. Do you have a reservation?" The young woman behind the counter looks up at Harvey, seeing Donna refer to him.

"We're part of a...group. Pearson Specter? I'm_ Harvey Specter_." He says, a slightly offbeat swagger in his delivery. He realizes in a second, when the girl looks blankly at him, that he's been in the city_ far_ too long.

Nobody knows of _Harvey Specter_ here. There are probably fifteen just like him in this resort alone...

He watches the young girl nod in understanding. "Of course, Mr Specter. No one else has arrived yet, but you have the Parlour Rooms booked for your arrival if you'd like to wait in there?" She asks.

"I think we might want to unpack first." He says, looking briefly to Donna, who nods.

"That's not a problem." The young woman says, turning for a moment, before returning to the desk with a key-card. "Here is the key to your suite, Sir. If you'd like to leave your bags here they'll be directed to your room in a moment.

He notices Donna throw a cool, scrutinizing look his way. His eyes lock with hers. "You booked a..._suite_?" She asks, her lips twitching with a humor.

"I thought you were supposed to know everything." He says, relaxing slightly.

"You wanted to book it. I assumed you were capable. Maybe I should have snooped if I knew you were going to book a suite," She remarks, folding her arms.

"It has two bedrooms, genius." He says, throwing her a look before looking back to the Receptionist. "Thank you."

"_Well if it isn't Mr and Mrs_-"

He knows exactly who it is before he's even turned around to see the face of his ex-mentee and his firm's 'paralegal stroke new star summer associate' walking towards them. "Hey. It's that Investment banker and his girlfriend._ Hey, Rachel_." He says, looking down at the little brunette with a played sarcasm.

"Harvey. Hi." She says matter-of-factly, passing over his comment to smile warmly at Donna next to him, who misses the interchange.

"Hey sweetie!" Donna croons at her friend, pulling her friend into hug as Mike grins back at him.

"So, Retreat? _Cool_." Mike says. "Hows it going?" He asks.

"Good. You?" He throws back.

"Good. Hows the firm doing?"

"Okay. _Replaced you_." Harvey says, a rueful smirk as he looks at his friend.

"_That's a lie_. Donna called to tell me you've been crying like a baby girl since I left."

He looks to Donna, wide eyed for effect.

"I said no such thing. Hey Mike!" Donna says, nudging Mike's shoulder roughly.

"Hows my favourite gatekeeper doing?" Mike asks, turning to her with a soft smile.

"_Sad that my favourite beverages are thing of the past_." She says, eyeing him dismissively.

"Maybe I'll drop one by on my next meeting? As a peace offering?" He offers.

"You better do, Michael Ross, _or so help me god_…" She says, feigning annoyance.

"I promise." He smiles. "We uh," Mike pauses, looking to Rachel for silent confirmation. "Better register. See you at the meet and greet?" He asks.

"So you actually read itineraries now you're not a lawyer?" Harvey jabs, as Mike gives him a look, taking Rachel's hand.

"Always did," Mike throws over his shoulder.

"You better not be late," Harvey calls, as the couple move towards the reception.

"That doesn't work anymore." He hears Mike call behind him.

A few seconds later he hears Mike call again.

"There's no fixed time, right?" He asks, a quiver of doubt in his voice.

* * *

Their suite is stunning.

_Of course it is_... it's the best Suite in the entire resort. _The Colonial House Suite_, with it's stunning view of lake placid and the peaks behind it flashing vivid greens under a pale blue sky take Donna's breath away. And that's just the outside, the balcony is exceptional, as is the lounge area, with lush fabrics and a sharp, stately look about the place. She's impressed that Harvey actually managed to get it right for a change. He'd told her that he'd had to barter with Jessica for the best rooms, with Jessica giving into the second best in favour of picking the resort. She'd tried to do the research and figure out what he'd pick, but this time around he'd seen her coming, having deleted emails and histories on his computer before she could snoop around enough to gather substantial intel.

She watches as the concierge moves their bags into the lounge, Harvey handing the guy a cool fifty, before he leaves them with a small smile.

She wasn't sure how she felt..._sharing her room with her Boss._ Kind of.

"So just to clarify...no hooking up with fellow 'Retreaters' this week, unless it's pre-scheduled, okay?" She says, looking at him for confirmation.

"Donna, that's not gonna happen." He says solidly, a small smile on his face.

"Okay." She says, not quite believing him. "Well… which one do you want?" She asks, peeking into both rooms.

"I don't care. You choose first." He says, his hands sliding into his pockets.

"Okay. If that's how you want to play it." She totters away into the first, as her voice calls out to him. "But I don't want to hear whining when you realize I've taken the better room." She says, wandering out of that one and into the other. _They're practically identical_, she realizes, "I'll take this one." She says, gesturing to the one nearest the balcony.

"Okay." He says, wheeling his suitcase into the other.

She frowns, watching his retreating form.

She can't help it, that niggling doubt in her head.

_Something is going on_. And for once...she is not in the loop.

It was worrying. To be situated so close to him, and yet emotionally, _so far away._

* * *

"Donna? You ready?" He calls to her through the door.

"I'll be out in just a minute…" She calls from her side.

He shuffles his feet a little, looking towards the mirror that lines up against the door, picking at his parting.

He doesn't feel himself. Something about change, and making a solid decision is still sticking in his mind. He can't seem to relax. And he's almost always relaxed.

He hears the sound of heels as she opens the door, revealing long oxford blue jumpsuit, the trousers floating along in long lines with the top half grazing her collarbones with a long gold chain hanging from her neck, pointed into a 'v' at the end.

"What?" She pauses, looking down at her attire, a frown fixing to her face.

"Nothing...just, I think I've only seen you in a dress and heels for the past...ever."

"Well, we are on holiday, Harvey," She remarks, straightening, before walking through the door past him.

When they make it downstairs, far more people have arrived by now, most of the partners milling about around Jessica; Mike and Rachel lingering by a bookcase. His eyes glance to Jessica as he walks up to her, perching on the edge of a leather seat, her floaty red dress pooling along one side of her.

"Harvey," She says warmly, watching Donna smile past them both, evidently making her way towards Mike and Rachel.

"Jessica," He nods, a smirk ready on his face. "Nice choice. A little...feminine, but"

"You can handle it. It's a stunning resort." She smiles.

"It is. The view from _my_ balcony is the best."

"You're not the only one with that view, Harvey." She says, her grin growing.

"I'll bet it's not as good of a view, though. I'm not in it, for one," He jokes, a flirtatious grin on his lips.

"Maybe not. But when it comes down to it, I win hands down every time."

"Really? Why's that?"

"My name is first on the wall. And...I'm taller." She remarks dryly, that vibrant smile of hers peeking out underneath full burgundy lips.

"Who says?"

"Everybody."

"That's not true."

"It is actually," Donna chimes in, joining them. He reacts, that mock look of shock on his face. "I thought you were on my side?"

"Who says?" He asks, pretending to look around.

"I don't pick sides," She says, smiling to Jessica. "Hi Jessica. Great resort."

"Hello Donna. And thank you for your help in...picking it out."

"You're welcome." Donna smiles, a shit-eating grin as her eyes linger on his.

"Wait a minute," He stares wide eyed between them, before turning to Donna. "You helped her pick this place out?"

"I may have had a vague influence. But, at the end of the day, Jessica still made the decision." She offers, referring to Jessica as she nods.

"I don't like you two talking." He says, sneering at them both.

"Who's talking?"

They all turn to see Louis dressed head to toe in light pink and green Golfing gear. He hears Donna splutter beside him, until he looks round and she snaps her mouth shut, smiling against the urge to laugh once more.

"Louis." He says, the swagger in his shoulders. "Thinking of hitting the course, are we?"

"Thinking? I've been playing for four hours. Get with the program. Thought I'd take the opportunity to get a use of the facilities before they get clogged with all of Beckson and Meyer. Have you seen them yet? I saw Meyer up by the buffet again. I swear to god it is like watching a camel eat toast."

"Camels don't eat toast, Louis." Donna says, a laugh falling out of her mouth as she looks towards Harvey and Jessica.

"Whatever, you know I mean. Thought I'd get the intel, seeing as they're up and coming. Sniff out the weiner."

"Sniff out the weiner? Really?" Harvey interjects, smirking at the strangeness of the metaphor.

"Harvey?" She says, silencing him. "Louis, this is supposed to be a retreat. Could we leave the business in New York...for just one week?" Jessica chimes in, a relaxed smile on her face.

"We have to strike whilst the iron is hot, Jessica." Louis presses.

"I understand that, Louis. But this is an R&R retreat, we have no business with Beckson & Meyer. Just..keep a distance..._maybe_ keep an eye out. But first and foremost; RELAX. You recently had a heart attack. Remember?" She says, sighing.

"Don't remind me," He says, looking to the three of them with gussy, a slight bob in him as he plays and fails at cool. "Sure. Why not. I can do that." He said, wandering off to the bar.

"I'll make sure he orders an alcoholic beverage." Donna remarks, smirking towards Jessica and Harvey before wandering off in Louis's direction.

"So," Harvey says, looking towards Jessica.

"So. You told her yet?" She asks, the stealthiness of her question hidden behind a glass of water.

He didn't expect her to ask that. Especially in the particular company. "No. I haven't. And If I'm going to get another lecture about the fact, after I specifically came to you-"

"**_No lecture_**," She assures him, interrupting, before her eyes meet his. "But if you don't tell her soon, this strange distance between you two is going to become a problem. Which unfortunately will make it _my problem."_

"Hows that?"

"Because you don't function half as well without her. I'll have intervene. And I hate to."

"Why do you think I brought her here in the first place?" He huffs, his gait readjusting.

"Love." She answers simply, a candid smile on her lips.

His eyes shoot to hers, wider than before. He has no words for her, a fact of which worries his insides slightly. He lets her continue. "I've only had a few encounters of it in my life, Quentin being the biggest. But I know you've only had _one_." She shoots back a knowing smile.

"How do you know?"

"That_ look_ you give her. And the fact that I've never really seen you two touch."

"That doesn't mean we...haven't. Touched." He says, an eyebrow shooting up in an arrogant protest.

She gives him a look; like he's a bug and she's the sun. "What? You think I don't know you? I know you want more from this, Harvey. And I wish there was a way to solve it all. But it's just going to take a big step from you, and for her to break whatever rule she made against you,"

"How do you know about_ the rule_?" He frowns, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"If I were her?_ I'd_ make a rule against you…" She says with a wicked smile.

He rolls his eyes, wandering to Mike for testosterone lift, but not before turning back to she her smile secretly at him.

It's all he really needs from her. A little support.

"_Well, that was a quicker trip to Miami than I thought it'd be," Donna remarked, skipping slightly to catch her bag off of baggage claim. _

"_That's first class for you." He remarked._

"_Of course, I might have enjoyed it slightly more if you hadn't elbowed me through most of it."_

"_You kept snoring Donna. The whole cabin heard you."_

"_You know, if you were bored and lonely all you had to do was say. And for the record...I do not snore."_

"_You do. You literally snore, both on the plan and in-"_

"_Ahh." She interrupted him, knowing where his words were headed. "What did I say?"_

"_I'm making a point. I remember vividly. You...snore. It's kind of cute until you open your mouth."_

_She rolls her eyes at his expression, a mixture between exasperation and disbelief. _

_She doesn't snore. Nobody has ever told her that she snores. She rolls her eyes at the absurdity of his comment._

"_Let's just get a cab?" She offers, scowling deliberately.  
_

"_Sure." He replies, giving her that playful smile. _

_The resort is stunning, of course, as the sun beats down onto the large glass hotel against the backdrop of smooth aqua colored waves and a slightly cool wind. _

_She hasn't been holiday in ages and __**damn does it feel good to get a little sun**__, she thinks, as they wheel their bags down the hall, Miami beach glistening against the large glass paneled walls beside them. _

"_Okay, I think this is my stop. " She says, noting the 210 on the white door._

"_Okay. We'll, I'll catch you later?" He asks.  
_

"_Isn't there a meet and greet or something?"_

"_Apparently." He shrugs, looking vaguely to his watch._

"_I'll call Jessica. Let you know?" She offers.  
_

"_Sure," He says, wheeling his suitcase a little further on. _

_It's then that it hits him… the remembrance as clear as day… a beach...his brother running about the sand, throwing big puffs of it up in the air..._

"_**Marcus, kiddo," His Dad says, rushing in as Harvey lingers back, squinting against the sharp ray of sun hitting his dark eyes. "That's gonna hurt, kid, if you get it in your eye." He says to the young boy, rustling the child's blonde hair before emptying his hands that are full of sand and looking to Harvey. "Harvey, keep an eye on Marcus, he's running riot over here!"**_

"_**I don't wanna look after him," He says to his father, sneering. **_

"_**You're his brother, it's what good brother's do. Look out for each other." His father says, straightening against his words.**_

"_**It's not my fault he's such a dweeb." She shrugs, sneering at his brother.  
**_

"_**He's just a little kid, Harvey. We're all the same at that age. Give him a break."**_

_**He huffs, looking back out to the sea again. **_

_**Wondering, who the hell his mother's...'entertaining' at this moment in time...**_

_** "This blows. I'm going for a walk." Harvey finally says.  
**_

"_**Stay close, Harvey!" His father calls after him.  
**_

"_**I'll be fine." He says, shrugging off his father's frustrated voice as he walks further down the beach. **_

_**When he hears footsteps coming up behind him he tries to quicken the pace.**_

"_**Look. Harvey? Harvey, just STOP!"**_

_**He pauses, hearing his Dad finally lose it. He turns around slowly, to see his Dad wiping his hand with his face, his gruff dirty blonde three o'clock shadow on his face as he looks down at him. **_

"_**Look, I…I know I'm not good at this. But I'm trying. Now, I know that things are hard right now. With your Mom, and...but I need you to help me help us, okay? I need you to start stepping up. With your brother, and,"**_

_**He could see it. The cracks in his father's face, that tiredness in his eyes and the lines deepened on his face. He sighed, looking out once again to the ocean, it's crystal washed perfection dancing the dusky cloud covered sun as it bounced off of the swells, and wishing for just a moment that he could be out there in it all instead of stood right here in this mess…**_

_**He looks back to his father, hearing that sigh as his Dad hangs there, waiting, his hands on the hips of his low slung jeans and rolled up flannel shirt blowing slightly in the wind. **_

_**His Dad was right. It was time for him to step up. Be the big man. Be present. Even if he didn't want to be... **_

"_**Okay Dad. I will...step up." He says, then, a small if not hesitant smile of apology on his face.**_

"_**That's my boy," His father says, gently patting him on the back. "Come on, let's get dinner," He says, glancing to his young son, now dancing aeroplanes into the sand. "We better get this one home, he's getting stir crazy."**_

_It hits him, as he swipes the key card in to the slot in the door._

_How it all got so hard so fast…_

_And how his mother wasn't there. For any of it._

'**_Time. _**

**_Shelter, as we go._**

**_And Promise me, please, you'll wait for me only, _**

**_Scared of the lonely arms,_**

**_Surface,_**

_**Far beyond these words...**' ~ 'Promise' By Ben Howard._

* * *

He spends the evening talking to Partner's, joking with Mike and generally working, still, despite the location.

It occurs to him that when you're a Managing Partner, you're job is never really done.

It's a new level of tiring responsibility for him.

It made the fact that he hadn't spoken to Donna properly since they'd arrived all the more disturbing.

It was possible he was getting old; the way she factored so much into the workings of his day to day. _Was this what Mike felt? Was it the same for him? Was that what this was?_

Either way, it was putting a dent in his evening.

And Donna was now avoiding him, which was unusual for her. She was usually standing in front of him to tell him where he was going wrong.

But this wasn't about another woman. _This was about her_. Maybe she did know. Maybe she understood the subtle nuances of difference between the two.

His eyes caught hers across the room as she talked animatedly with an older Partner. She paused, just a fraction of second longer. Nobody else would notice but him. The look in her eye was strained, maybe even a little lost for words.

He had to strike soon, or else risk them spending the rest of the week in limbo.

* * *

When the evening came to a close, they found themselves gravitating towards one another naturally, the acceptance of being held up in the same room. Perhaps it meant more, like a habit slowly growing between them.

He was slightly drunk and very tired after an evening of schmoozing; irritable even at things not quite matching up between them, and the pressure of having to do something that made his face ache and his cards laid bare for not only her but for everyone to see. The swagger in his step labored slightly as he approached the door, feeling her heavily silent presence behind him.

When she slightly slams the door behind them both, he's at a loss as to what to say, but he supposes she's been holding it in because of the company they were keeping.

"Okay, what's going on with you? _Is it Mike_? I know it's still fresh and-"

"It's not Mike." He says, sighing. _Trust her to still not get it..._

"Then what is it, Harvey? Because you've been like this with me all day. I can't take it anymore."

"Donna. It's…"

"What? Nothing? Harvey, there's something going on, and I know it has nothing to do with me, but you've been-"

"It has everything to do with you. Actually." He says, cutting her words in half.

"What?" She blinks, pausing any frustration she may have had.

"I...uh," His words stick in his throat at the sight of her, slightly gawking at him.

It's a strange sight. She's seldom taking by surprise.

"What, Harvey?" She asks, exasperated.

"This past year..._it's_…"

"What?" She half interrupts.

"Will you let me speak!" He barks, reigning in his frustration with a controlled huff of air through his teeth. "It's...changed us."

"Changed us how?"

"Mike. The Firing. Zoe. Scottie. _Stephen_. The Merger. Mike leaving...It's...it changed us, Donna. And I can't help but think, after everything that's happened. That I…."

"What, Harvey?" She asks, the clear reservedness about her.

"I want more. _From us_." He says finally.

It's like a weight off of his shoulders. He hadn't expected it to be so sudden.

"Harvey. I'm not in love with you." She steps back, rolling her eyes.

"Stop lying to me." He fires back at her, taking a step forward. "I know you."

The words knock her for six, even in her poised form. _He can tell_. "And it's not just you,_** I**_-"

"Don't even say it."

"Donna. I've been holding it in for ten damn years. I need to say it!" He erupts then, his hands balling into fits.

"What?" She asks, her mouth falling out again. It's that very scared look on her face. The last time hes seen that was the mock trial.

"You heard me." His stomach drops when she takes a step back, like a punch in the guy against his feelings. "Donna. I...feel the same way. I have...for a while, now. And I know...it's not perfectly timed."

"How about _inappropriately timed_, Harvey?" She injects then, huffing. "We are at a work...RETREAT."

"Donna. I know it's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But…"

"You think I don't know that?"

"I want more. And it's not just a coincidence that you never got married, or even moved in with a guy. We're in a rut, Donna. It's time we changed it."

"I'm not leaving my job, Harvey."

"I don't expect you to." he says, matter of factly.

"_I'm not being that assistant you go home with every night_." She says, looking at him like he's out of his depth.

"Donna...people that know us know that we've worked together for ten years. And screw the people that don't know us. I want more."

"And what if I don't?" She says in flash.

"Donna." His face falls. "I know you're scared…"

"I'm not scared." She laughs, her chin jutting in slightly at his remark.

"Yeah you are." He says, zoning in on her. The pace seems to silence her, or stun her at the very least, as he lingers a mere foot away. "Now. I'm not asking you to decide. I'm not asking you to..._move in_. I'm not forcing you to do _anything_, I'm just,"

"Telling me how you feel." She sighs, understanding washing part way over her face.

"Yes. Look, Donna… _you're it for me_." _In some ways she always has been._ "And now...I want more." He says, closing the distance between them.

"Harvey. I can't live my life for you 24/7."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"This is going to change us. You won't like it." She tells him defiantly.

"I might like it little more than you think." He says, his jaw sharpening.

"I need...to _think about it_." She says, breaking their eye contact, looking to her hands.

"Right." He sighs.

"Harvey…" She protests, hearing the way his voice sounds as his shoulders drop.

"No. You should." He says, nodding in what she thinks is understanding.

"Thank you." She half smiles. "I'm going to," She gestures to bedroom, quietly shutting the door between them.

He sinks into the couch tiredly, looking towards her door, before walking to his own door.

_He doesn't sleep a wink that night._

* * *

_Next Chapter right after!_


	3. Chapter 3

_NOTES: Rated M-ish in some places. (Sorry guys I couldn't help myself!)_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 3**_

_After nearly an hour of looking, she had found him out alone in one of the pool bars, propping himself up with the same kind of solitude he so often worked with. She had smiled to herself, swaying in her long maxi dress with her red hair wavy and untamed in the slight breeze in which she walked to him. She perched up on a bar stool next to him, watching him count the moisture ripples on his glass, as she ordered her own drink, quietly receiving his company, until he finally broke his silence for her._

"_I…" He started, closing his eyes at the inability to speak._

"_Wished you hadn't come?" She asked tenderly._

"_You asked me. Demanded even." He said with a smile._

"_I did. I wanted you to...have a break."_

"_There's not...a break from this." He mumbled, his face falling._

"_I know. But still, the sun, the sand,"_

"_Reminds me of him." He interrupted.  
_

"_Really?" She frowns, surprised._

"_The last trip we ever took. To explain to us...why...she'd left."_

"_Oh. Harvey I never…"_

"_It's...don't worry." He says, nodding slightly to her. A rare gesture of acceptance between them._

"_I'm really sorry." She said._

"_It's okay." He brushed it off.  
_

"_No it's not. Come on__…" She said, taking his hand. He looked down to see their fingers laced together, her soft skin against his. It was an alien gesture for them both, but all at once she was feeling bold. He didn't seem to object either, which was also unusual.  
_

"_Where are we going?" He asked, looking up at her. For a moment he gave her a look that she didn't have the faintest idea of what it meant, what he was thinking...unless it was 'that', in which case she was right on the mark...  
_

"_I brought a little...pick me up." She explained, tugging his hand along with her._

_When she finally dragged them to her room, holding up the bottle, he was initally speechless._

"_Why bring alcohol to a holiday? They have a bar. Several, in fact." He remarked, frowning.  
_

"_Well, for one it's not a free bar, anywhere around here."  
_

"_Donna," He frowned. "I would have-"_

"_I know_. _It doesn't matter. Point is…Macallan. 18. At your disposal. No bartender required." She said, pushing the bottle into his hands, as she searched the rest of her suitcase._

"_What are you looking for?" He asked, humored by her thorough discovery of her own bag, like it was the uncharted amazon.  
_

_She stood straight for a second, giving him a look. "Glasses?" She answered, huffing. "We're not savages." She scoffed, delving into the bag once more.  
_

_He smiled then, the tension smoothing out in the wake of her._

* * *

_They had been drinking since five now, staying in Donna's room, after she'd pointed out that extra Whiskey she'd sneaked into the hotel. __**Macallan 18. **The fact was__ still orbiting his brain even now._

"_Your Father would be very proud." She said, pouring them both another glass._

"_Yeah. I know." He sighed, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly._

"_I'm sorry he's not here to celebrate it with you, Harvey."_

_He felt his gut squirm at the lack of response in his mouth._

_He wished that his father was here. It was hard; **The absence of him**. It would possibly always be this way. It wretched a little still, like he'd forgotten to pick his brother up from school, or if he'd heard his mother again, or..._

"_Thank you. For being here." He said, his attention catching at her large, concentrated eyes._

"_I'll always be here." She said. She must have let the words slip out, overtaken by alcohol for a moment, because when she looked at him her eyebrow quirked self consciously._

_He smiled back, sipping his drink just to stop the words from coming out._

"_What?" She asked, feeling a little defensive.  
_

"_Will you...always be here?" He asked carefully.  
_

"_Harvey," She warned, before watching him recoil at her words. "I'm here right now," She reasoned, straightening somewhat against the slump of ease that had opened up around them. It suddenly occured to her how incredibly close they were now, their arms touching fractionally in the space between them._

"_Yeah. You are." He agreed, a hum low in his throat as he placed the glass onto the glass coaster, the absence of it leaving his fingers cold and icy wet and lacking._

_He knew what he was really saying, the look he was giving her. She could see it too. That option, that quiet little offer in his potent stare. His eyes lingered on the way her bangs brushed her cheekbones all the way up to her eyebrows. There was something kind of adorable about her when she wasn't talking at a hundred miles an hour._

_He leaned in then, watching her straighten against the couch rest, her eyes fluttering slightly, as the level of his gaze changed and he looked down at her._

"_Harvey," She breathed, trying to regain something akin to their usual boundary._

_But he was tired. And wasting. Her. Them. The opportunity to just, fall into another person for an evening. He wasn't proud of it. But it was what it was._

"_My father always adored you." He said, smirking, the smoulder about him._

"_I know. He __**was**__ pretty hot, himself." She joked, the look of whimsy on her face._

"_I didn't need to know that." He squirmed, shaking his head._

_He immediately turned off of the whole idea. It seemed that was her intention when she measured his disgust with a sickly smile. He rolled his eyes at her in reply._

_When her smile gradually softened into something much more what he like to call 'the secret part of her', he felt his ire rise all the more, leaning a little further in to focus on her dewy features and slightly over-straightened hair._

"_Come to bed with me." He asked, half-way between a demand and a request as it rolled lavishly off of his tongue with liquid courage. "Just tonight."_

_Her face didn't fall like he expected. He had expected a slap or at the very least an admonishing look for even thinking about it five years on, when she'd been the one to take it off of the table._

"_We work together." She replied, focusing against the slight lull of drunkeness._

"_Not this week, we don't," He said, smirking all the more._

"_Especially this week, Harvey." She sighed, unable to look anywhere else but at his potent stare."Do you not remember the condition? We agreed." She countered, her icy words softened by the way she pressed her lips together._

"_Come on...__**we both know you'd enjoy it**__." He said, that arrogant stare of his that had won him so many things._

_And she would. As much from her own ability as his. It was only one time and yet every single time he strained not to compare whatever one it was that night to...her. He still didn't understand what that meant for them._

_He watched as she even dared to consider it; biting down self consciously on her bottom lip as her chin stuck in a little at the idea of them skirting old ground as her eyes dared to imagine such a thing._

_When she finally looked back at him she was all posture and challenge, that steely, unperturbed look in her eye. "Who says I even enjoyed it the first time?" She offered, her game face back on.  
_

"_I'm not __**that **__stupid." He replied with a grin._

"_Aren't you?" She played, pouting._

_He's excited then, and slightly embarrassed at the admission of such a thing. She was only saying what she was saying to throw him off. He'd known her to play those kind of moves at work before._

"_It doesn't have to mean anything," He offered solidly, watching her face blanch. "No strings." He said, trying still to persuade her.  
_

"_It __**wouldn't**__...mean anything." She said then, serious suddenly._

_He noted her expression in the back of his head, but chose not to push it any further, like it was an afterthought for later. Instead, he focused his attention solely on her, sliding across the couch to plant one arm on the backrest behind her, a private little smile on his chiseled face._

"_Besides...if you remember, I think I...owe __**you**__." He said, his voice pulling at seductive._

"_Perhaps…" She whispered, her face flushing._

* * *

_It was possible her brain had stopped, as she lent back against the couch, one hand gripping the armrest and the other planted in her bosses hair, trying desperately not to make a high pitched sound at the sensation emanating from her at the feeling of his tongue tracing the alphabet in a very intimate area of her being._

_For the record, this was__** not**__ like the last time. Nothing like, in fact._

_This was...skirting very dangerous territ-_

_She whimpered then, biting down hard on her bottom lip this time. She felt like a tumultuous river. It was embarrassing to be this turned on by a person whose dry cleaning you picked up every week._

_Her other hand joined the one on his head, raking his scalp with every move that he made to push her past to the point of ecstasy._

"_Oh you...fucker…" She said then, her pitch raising slightly._

"_Shhh... You're so loud." He frowned, appearing between her legs to look at her, his faced flushed.  
_

_She pushed at his shoulders. "Get the fuck back down there." She ordered, her breath coming in uneven spills against her heaving chest as she fisted the back of his shirt._

"_Yes Mam," He smirked, before continuing his assault of her._

_The knock at the door felt like a shock to her system as knuckles wrapped on the hardwood from the other side of the door._

"_I'm...coming…" She found herself saying, cursing herself at the ironic response._

_She swore she felt him smile…_

"_Donna?" She heard from the other side of the door._

_She felt Harvey stop immediately against her._

_Of all the people to knock on her hotel room door, Louis, would have to be the most dangerous. And the voice most likely to turn you off of sex or..anything else for that matter._

_She felt frozen between the pausing man between her thighs, and the danger lurking near the welcome mat._

_Harvey straightened, from kneeling to standing, looking down at her for direction._

_She crossed her legs, feeling her face flush at the sight of him looking down at her. "Get in the bathroom' She mouthed in panic, before gathering herself to open the door._

_She checked in the mirror, seeing the flush in her face and the creases in her dress, before putting on her best face and opening the door. As the door swung open, now met with the questionable face of one very nosey Louis Litt._

"_Louis. What do you want?" She asked, huffing._

"_Have you...seen Harvey?" He asked, the words rushing as he tried to look past her shoulder._

"_Not for the past hour. Why?" She replied, her eyes narrowing at him._

_He barged past then, marching into her room, as the sweat started to creep up her back like it was in reverse. "Uh, what are you doing?" She called to him in alarm._

"_The Marchman Case? We've had a call. They tried to call him, but he never answers his goddamn phone. I even asked to borrow Jessica's, but no luck." He gestures, looking about the room._

"_Well he's not in here! Maybe he's busy, Louis? This is a holiday, after all." She said flippantly, the panic rising as she watched him linger near the couch._

"_Are you alright? You look a little flushed?" He asked, zoning in on her._

"_I'm fine, Louis. I'm a little...sweaty from the sun. I am a redhead, I'm practically an endangered species out here...look, he's not-"_

_She watched as he spotted her thong on the floor, his eyes widening before he shut his mouth with a snap. "Are you not...wearing any…?"_

"_Oh they must have fallen out my bag. How...odd." She shrugged, looking nonchalant. Steely, even._

"_Well If you see him, can you get him to call Jessica immediately?" He asked, his eyebrow narrowing above disbelieving eyes._

"_Of course." She said, her face strained._

"_Can I just use your bathroom? I had an extra large Mochachino after lunch," He half asked, walking towards the bathroom._

"_No you may NOT!" She barked at him, the panic rising her voice an octave as her dark polished fingernails balled her hands into tight fists.  
_

_He turned back around, his face immediately suspicious._

"_I am about to wax, Louis; there is very hot __**wax**__ in the bathroom and I'm late to...wax. So. Could you...**one** or **two** in your own bathroom, please?"_

"_But your bathroom is just there-" He said, pointing._

"_Louis! Get out! I'm doing womanly things in here!"_

"_Of course. My apologies." He said hurriedly, retreating back to the door with a shuffle as she followed him._

_He swung back around for a second, alarming her as a thought played in his head._

"_I was going to ask...if you're free this evening I thought it might be nice to dine at that Restaurant everybody's been talking about? I've heard it has a beautiful view from the table I've-"_

"_That's very nice Louis, but if Harvey has work to do, then I'm going to have to help him, aren't I? Being his...**Assistant**, and all?"_

"_Sure. Of course. Well… if you change your mind. You,"_

"_I'll let you know. Thank you Louis. But I have to...wax now."_

"_Of course. Don't let me stand in the way of your womanly duties." She hears him say as she slams the door in his face._

_When she turned back around, Harvey was already out of the bathroom, looking rather impressed with either her or himself. Maybe both. When he licked his bottom lip deliberately, she sneered, looking away in disgust._

"_So. Where were we?" He asked, raising an eyebrow._

"_You have...work. __**To do**__. Check your phone." She ordered, pointing at his pants pocket._

"_It can wait," He shrugged in reply, his hands falling out of his pockets, as he began zeroing in on her again._

"_This was a stupid idea, Harvey. We can't...do this." She said, a little half heartedly, the objection lingering somewhere in the back. "It was...reckless. And stupid. And ill-advised."_

"_Right." He answered, his face falling at her words. His gaze fell for a moment; and when it leveled to meet hers again, there was a quiet kind of hope in his eyes. "You sure?" He asked._

"_Oh yes. I'm sure." She replied, her words oddly even for someone cursing him mere moments ago._

_She couldn't escape his look of thoughtful disappointment as he walked past her. _

_"Have a good night, Donna." He said.  
_

"_You too. Call me if you need any help. With...work." She offered._

"_Right." He replied, swallowing the dismissal as he walked towards the door._

_She caught him with his hand on the door handle. "And Harvey?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_This never happened. Okay?" She said sternly._

_He nodded then, covering his expression and disappeared quickly behind the door as it shut with a click._

_The second he left, she locked the door, turned on the shower and raided the mini bar for very hard liquor to drown out the past few hours._

* * *

_When her swimming eyes zoned in on the time on her phone, coming up to half eleven, she knew that it was now...or never._

_It should be never._

_But stupidly, somehow, she was in the mood for now, whether it was the many little bottles of alcohol she'd thrown down her neck, or the vivid memory from earlier that he'd conjured up still stirring in her gut, she was resolute to throw caution to the wind for the twenty four hour blimp that seemed to be her little slip against the vow she'd made to herself five years ago._

_She was dressed in a coat and little else, with her tallest heels on and that determined look about her as she wrapped her knuckles on the hotel door._

_She heard a slight shuffle from within, before heeled shoes grew closer to the door._

_When the door opened, he smiled._

_The Bastard…_

"_Well, well. Fancy seeing you here." He said, waggling his eyebrows slightly as he drank her in._

"_Can I come in?" She asked, a sudden shyness taking over at his disarming look. He silently backed away, gesturing for her to enter._

_She oddly wondered if he had company, until she spied that the room was indeed empty. Blissfully and completely…empty._

_He shut the door behind her, as she walked into the room, spying a tumbler and a pile of paperwork on the coffee table._

"_Working late, are we?"  
_

"_Maybe." He smiled._

"_Why didn't you call me? I told you if you needed me to just call-"_

"_If I'd have called you...it wouldn't have been for work." He said, with a small smile._

"_Ahh." She sighed, understanding then._

_He was respecting her decision.__** Like always.**_

_She'd never really looked at it like that before..._

"_So...whatcha' doin' here?" He asked, that hopeful and devilish look about him._

"_Well...I was going to have my wicked way with you. But now it just feels…" The words skipped out of her mouth before her internal filter even had a chance to catch up. She knew then that she'd had a little too much to drink._

"_Badly timed?" He offered, wincing a little._

"_I've spent all evening thinking about earlier." She answered, taken aback at her own honesty._

"_Me too. But you're right, you know?"_

"_I am?" She frowned, surprised at his comment._

"_We shouldn't." He said._

_She really wasn't expecting to hear that come out of his mouth..._

"_Of course." She nodded, taking a step back, trying to ignore how it stung a little._

"_But hey… I still have work to do, so...stay. I'll get you a glass." He said, walking towards the minibar._

_She suddenly felt the blood reach her toes in eight hundred dollar shoes and very little else..._

"_I shouldn't. I should go." She said, stepping back._

"_No stay. You said you wanted to help." He shrugged, noticing her unease._

"_I'm naked underneath this coat, Harvey. It wouldn't be in the spirit of our agreement if I stayed." She felt her face redden.  
_

"_Well...maybe our earlier one." He joked, his mouth and eyebrow quirking. "Wait. You're really...how naked?" He asked, taking a step forward._

"_Very. Birthday naked."  
_

"_Wow." He admonished. "That's a...lot of naked." He said, an impressed look on his face. "So you actually came her to…"_

"_Have you finish me off? Yes." She said matter of factly. "Now I'm regretting that decision." She said candidly, feeling her face flush again._

_He laughed at her, taking a few steps towards her._

"_But now you're being all noble, and now I feel bad. Because you're right. Like I said earlier, we-"_

_She was actually relieved when he silenced her, his lips claiming hers as his hands snaked around her waist, their toed shoes touching in the process. Even with their choice being so dangerously over the line, she was still a woman. And he was a man. And they both had moves. And he tasted like tomatoes, wine, rosemary and the faint tinge of whiskey, as his tongue slid against hers. She felt her gut quiver when his thumbs pressed into her hips, running over her stomach slightly, until an idle hand slipped under the macintosh fabric and down one thigh. He moaned into her mouth at the feel of her, before his lips slid down one side of her neck. She lent into him instinctively, feeling the ghost of his shoulders and chest against hers, until he awoke her daze by lifting her leg from the knee. She gasped at the way his fingers played her like an instrument, as her heel settled on the hardwood coffee table, his lips finding hers once more, insistent this time and for more than just pleasantries. Her hands fumbled around his belt, careful not to be too vigorous as she undid his zip and encouraged his pants to the floor. He toed off his shoes, his hands caressing her hair for a second as her hand snaked into his boxers, before dragging them down his legs._

"_Donna, I'm sorry but I really need to-" He started, but was interrupted with her strained voice._

"_It's okay. Me too." She offered, a half acceptance as he smiled against her neck, undoing her coat, to let it fall to the floor along with his dress trousers and boxers, angling her hips enough to thrust carefully and slowly into her._

_She inhaled sharply, the feeling of him flashed with a vivid memory of the last time, the first time, as she raced to undo the buttons on his shirt before he could enter her a second time._

_It was the worst kind of betrayal; the betrayal of self. But it was barely heard above the collective gasp of being thoroughly fucked like it seemed only he could. She drowned the thought when his lips, moist and hungry sucked at the skin just right of her collarbone._

"_Harder," She ordered, although what specifically it was for she wasn't even sure, the clash of sensations muddling her brain. Her hands contacted his jawline as her head lolled backwards and his hands grasped her hips to steady both his rhythm and her imbalance at once, her eyes meeting his when his hand touched that spot again, making her knees buckle as she finally came, riding on the start of his orgasm as her hands dug into his shoulders and he finally bucked against her._

_She slumped forward against him for a moment, the tender intimacy of the situation taking over as he withdrew from her and she lifted her heeled foot to rest back on the floor before it could give way. They stood for a moment, her breath evening out until his hands sloped around her back, their foreheads touching and muddling with sweat._

"_What are you doing?" She asked when she felt his arms tighten around her._

"_Cuddling you?" He offered, a amused frown on his face. "Is this...not allowed?" He joked._

_But it was all a little too much..._

_She jumped then, almost out of his arms, as she bent to pick up her coat, slinging it around her shoulders, and tying the belt tightly._

"_Donna. What's going on?" He asked, thoroughly confused for so many reasons._

"_It's just sex, Harvey." She said, her eyes flashing. She wasn't sure of the irrational impulse inside her. But the way he was stood there, naked and open and not irrational was making her uncomfortable._

"_Okay…" He said, placating her._

"_I should go," She said, wrapping her coat around her self. "It's late…and we have a brunch in the morning."_

"_Right." He said, still standing in the same place._

_She looked up at him one last time before opening the door. "Goodnight Harvey." She smiled unevenly, trying not to focus on him above the neckline, still completely, almost cavalierly naked._

"_Goodnight Donna." He nodded, still confused and fused to the spot._

_She cursed herself that night._

_Swearing it to be the last time she'd ever screw Harvey Specter._

* * *

_Okay. It goes down to T again for the most part. As always feed the kitty!_

_A~_


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Apologies, had work and stuffs. Hopefully going to get a few more out this week! A ~

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

Donna had spent the remainder of the night tossing and turning, made ten times worse by the awareness of Harvey a mere ten foot away in the other room.

_She's had enough now_. Sleeping isn't really an option anymore...

She glances at her phone blindly, bleary eyed against the high definition light emitting the 6:22am on the screen.

_Now seems like as good a time as any to get up_, she thinks, rolling over to the drawn pastel curtains that hide the morning rays of daylight. Unfortunately, avoiding him also wasn't an option during this week. And really, she didn't want to permanently ignore him so much as delay what ever strangeness might now occur between them.

_He had set a ball rolling_, much to her complete and utter shock.

She pulls on her bathrobe, quietly padding out of the room and through into the lounge, where a coffee maker, and the necessary amenities stand waiting on an old oak table. She fills up the machine, pulling in the coffee cartridges and popping a cup onto the drip tray, watching as the machine gradually pours the coffee out into the cup, filling the room with it's potent aroma the short puff of steam with it. She looked down, noticing her holding a second cup. _A habit._

The main door suddenly opens, and Harvey enters, dressed in a pair of slacks and his Harvard sweater. Their eyes lock, until he shuts the door behind him, as she mashes her lips together, at a loss as to what to say.

"Hey." He says, standing there, still slightly out of breath from the obvious run, his eyes overly conscious of her movements. She tries not to notice the way his chest rises and falls and his cheekbones sharpen as he looks at her with that slightly heavy stare of his.

"Hey." She returns, looking straight back to the full cup in front of her, and then to the one still in her hands. "You want a coffee?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." He says, his mouth levelling out into a line, before he gestures to the bathroom. "I'm gonna go take a shower." He says, playing at a mismatched half-smile.

She watches him disappear into the bathroom, before wandering out onto the balcony, the grand view of the lake and mountains giving a refreshing air to the morning; reminding her of their distance from the city as she sits down at a table, the hot mug of liquid consciousness warming her hands against that slight dawn-edged chill.

She wonders how she got here. How they got here. _Metaphorically speaking_. And then _she remembers_.

_He_ asked her come. Told her that he 'didn't want to lose her', propositioned her and not in the way she had expected. And somehow, along the way, they'd started to evolve into something more. Something unexpectedly different. Something more serious, that defined them both in a way they couldn't possibly come back from. And no matter what she'd done to throw him off the course - and she_ had_ tried - to plant him in the right direction and prep him for taking that step with someone, not even his College sweetheart could knock him off the trail, it seemed.

And she could have ignored it before, pretending they were nothing more and would never be - especially after he'd told her point blank that he didn't want anything more from them when the problems with Stephen had begun. It had stung then, and she hadn't wanted to linger on fact that he didn't want her.

Now..._he did_. Regardless of when he'd truly made that decision, now,

He wanted _more_. And not in a 'up your workload kind of a way'...

Part of her was screaming for a woman to completely knock him off of his feet today; to pull him out of this state of mind and shock him into another direction.

He was _right_.

She _was _scared. As she should be. She was dealing with a man in flux with his changing self.

He appears at the french doors, dressed in a pale t-shirt and jeans, as he sits quietly at the table, sipping at the cup of coffee she's made for him. _Black, one sugar_. The usual.

She can't help but scrutinize him, his relaxed posture, the way his hair sticks up in all directions and his face takes on a youthfullness; like he's not really that person he is at work and this is somehow him taking off that 'hat', as it were to reveal something more honest.

"What?" He says, frowning at her clear staring at him; a stare she hadn't even realised she'd partaken in until his eyes found hers.

"Nothing." She feigns ignorance, sipping her coffee once more. "So. What's going on today?" She asks.

"I think...today is just for us to relax. Have a look around? We have team sports tomorrow." He says. She watches the clear enjoyment on his face at the notion of beating his other competitors.

"Oh God. _Louis_. Louis is always so…" She struggles to find a word to match the man.

"Bad at them?" He offers, smiling.

"I was going to say competitive, but you're not wrong." She smirks, the remembrance of a firm charity ballgame a few years ago and Louis's..._annoyingness _throughout.

"What are you doing today?" He asks, swallowing the last word in a sip of coffee. Playing at casual.

"I don't know. I'm going to try a catch a yoga class maybe? A massage...or two." She remarks, giving him a look akin to her usual demeanour.

"A...massage?" He says, clearing his throat at the image that must have popped into his head. She watches the thought wash over and off of his face. "Okay." He says, sitting back, the thought visibly entertaining him.

"Don't even." She warns, smiling; embarrassed at how easily the conversation is turning to the the possible chink in their as so far _mostly_ platonic armour. She's actually blushing slightly, and curses the fact, wishing that she had her bangs to at least hide the sides of her face.

When she looks back to him he smiles to himself.

"I don't want to talk about it today." She says, flattening the mood in the air.

His face grows serious at her words, as he nods curtly. "Okay."

"So. What are _we_ gonna do?" She asks lightly, trying to be forthright in the situation, as much for him as herself, to smooth over the uneven groove thats only going to get bigger.

"We?" He asks, incredulously.

"We." She confirms. "At some point we should have dinner with Mike and Rach, right?"

"Sounds good." He says. It only occurs to her that he could have taken that the wrong way, until he's agreeing to it. And then she's over-thinking his over-agreement on the matter. She curses herself, focusing back on them rather than the jumbled up mess of them crowding her brain.

"How about…" She leans back, scouring the itinerary in her mind. "Let's rent a boat! The four of us. We could go fishing, maybe? Get some lunch after."

"It better just be _the four of us_. I'm not renting a boat with Louis." He scowls.

"I promise Louis will not be present." She smirks.

She hopes that she's right.

* * *

They arrange to meet Rachel and Mike at the edge of Mirror Lake. It happens that they can't get boat for the four of them, and instead decided to get two. Alarm bells ring in her ears.

"So who's going with who?" Donna asks. She watches as three faces all look at her, slightly confused. She looks Rachel dead in the eye.

"Uh, well. Donna and I can go together." Rachel says. She sighs at the young soon-to-be lawyer's overly chipper recovery. "You and Harvey haven't exactly seen much of eachother, so." She indicates to Mike. "Time to catch up?" She offers.

"Two guys boating together. That's not going to look _at all _gay." Mike remarks, elbowing Harvey who merely gives the younger man a stern look.

"Well, you're definitely punching above your weight, I know that." He remarks cockily, eyeing his friend.

"Thats not what you said last night? What we meant to each other?" Mike plays, looking to Rachel and Donna who laugh quietly at the display as Harvey sneers at him, folding his arms.

"Okay hotshot, let's just get the damn boats…" He says, rolling his eyes as he walks in the direction of the Boat hut.

"Did he wake up on the wrong side or something?" Mike asks, turning to Donna.

"How the hell am I supposed to know," Donna fires at him, shrugging non-commitally as she follows Harvey.

Mike feels Rachel lean towards him. "Is it just me or does it seem like…?" She muses, looking to her boyfriend.

"There's something going on with those two? _**Oh Yeah**_. Whatever's going on, is _**on**_," He remarks, following the other two.

* * *

Mirror lake is beautiful, if not a smaller representation of Lake Placid further behind them. The weather is cool and calm enough for them to row without getting too tired in the process, and luckily Rachel had been the only one to bring snacks. Ever the prepared one in the group.

"Hows your Partner heavy retreat going down?" Donna asks Rachel, half concentrating on the follow of the oars, in her fifth minute as rower.

"I've got to admit, I'm _a little_ intimidated about this week," She replies, gesturing the miniscule amount with her hands, that 'Rachel' look about her. "All the Partners in one place," She winces. "I'm not even supposed to be here. Thanks to Louis inviting me it at least gives me a chance to get to know everybody a little better. Maybe stamp my mark?"

"Exactly," Donna remarks. "Like Jessica said, this is your family now. _Your home_. Time for you to get acquainted with the in-laws." She jokes. "Hows it going over there in the romantic boat?" She calls to Mike and Harvey.

Harvey gives her another stern look, as Mike frowns at one of his ores. "One of my ores is faulty." He complains, wriggling it about.

"Will you just row?" Harvey barks, looking at him like a bear with a headache as he leans back in the boat, noticeably oreless.

"Donna!" Mike shouts over to her. "Wanna swap? My rowing partner is being a jerk. I'd say it's out of the ordinary, but..." He says pointedly, half joking as he looks to Harvey.

She sighs. _It's possible she's not going to be able to escape him for even a fraction of their time here... _

"You have no staying power, Ross," Donna points out, glaring at him.

"I love you." Mike calls to her, winking at Rachel in the process.

"Damnit. You got me...okay, we're rowing over to you." She smiles begrudgingly, looking at her friend with an exasperated sigh as she chuckles.

They manage to line the boats up, as Harvey holds them together, watching Mike amble over to the girls boat, accepting Rachels help to sit as he gives her a quick kiss on the lips. He holds the boat, waiting for Donna to stand.

"You better hold that boat, Specter." Donna warns, pointing at him.

"My hands are all over it." He says, that double entendre not lost on her. She inhales, passing his comment over as she stands. For a second she feels a little unbalanced as the boats misalign.

"Just step over, Donna." Harvey commands, looking over at her impatiently. "Come on." He presses.

She looks at him, that grain of doubt in her head as she steps over into the other boat, leaning back to sit. Harvey let's go a fraction too early, as she wobbles back, a slight panic as she reaches out for him as he tries to steady the boat.

"Oh shit," He says, stretched with one hand on her waist and the other trying to brace them both as they're friends chuckle beside them.

"Well done, genius," She remarks, shaking her head at him.

"How is it my fault?!" He barks slightly. "You were the one wobbling about up there!"

She stifles her reply with a forced scowl, the humour of the situation pulling her frustration about as they steady the boat together.

She was a foot away from ending up in the lake. Literally.

"You guys okay over there?" Rachel asks, noticing the slight tension erupting between them as they stare each other down. "It looks very fun from here." He remarks, having Rachel lean into him.

"We're fine," They both call to him, huffing heavily at their friend, before glaring at one another, taking seats at each end of the boat.

"We should get some lunch soon. I think we're all experiencing a case of the hungry bear." Mike offers, earning three strange looks. "The story of the hungry bear? No? Nobody?"

"Just paddle, Enid Blyton," Harvey says, finally breaking the eye contact between them.

* * *

The row back is oddly filled with calm, the surroundings laying waste for sightseeing and quiet appreciation. She is grateful, otherwise the chasm of silence between them would be deafening. Loud enough even for Mike and Rachel to hear. She takes to looking at scenery as he rows, quietly occupied with the large pot of mixed emotion swirling about her entire being.

They return the boats, agreeing to wander up to Main street for Lunch. With recommendations of a nice little Bistro there it seems like a pleasant and offbeat afternoon. When they reach Main Street, about five minutes walk along the lake, it starts to fill with tourists and day-to-dayers milling about and wandering the many little boutiques and antiquity stores. The Bistro is quaint and polished, with an oldy-worldy feel wrapped up in upper-market tape, it's metal surfaces and jazzed up lighting against old wood surfaces and paintings of lakes Placid and Mirror. _It must have been brought up to date for the Olympics_, Donna realises. And she's grateful. A little bit of her current life to firm up the lines of their relationship is just what she needs right now.

It's quite busy for an afternoon, as they acquire a four table by the window.

"God, I'm starving!" Rachel says, examining the menu. "Ohh, they do shrimp!" She says, until the three faces looking around the her break her concentration. "Well….they _do_."

They all know her strange penchant for shrimp on...anything food related.

"Oh Rach, squee away. I'm also in the mood for something_ fruits de la mer_ and toasted..." She replies, scouring the menu.

"I don't know about you ladies, but I'm the mood for something..._carnivore friendly_." Mike says, earning a supportive look from Harvey.

"Pastrami." Harvey offers.

"Exactly. And Pickles." Mike adds leaning his head back to revel in the moment.

"Yeah." Harvey concurs, "Double Monterey Jack."

"Oh yeah. Some of that Jack sauce, too?" Mike offers then, sitting back as his imagination takes him to a very masculine place.

"Yeah. That's it." Harvey agrees, leaning back also.

"You two need a moment alone?" Donna jokes, glancing at the two of them on the opposite side of the table.

"Donna. I've never seen you afraid of a little...meat." Mike says, smirking.

"Watch it Ross. You may not work with us anymore, but I can make your life _extremely difficult_. You know Marni in your office?" She says, with an evil smile, a little teeth and a raise of her eyebrows.

"Uh...yes?" He swallows.

"Marni and I go waaay back. _Think about it._" She says.

"Okay. So. _BLT _it is…" Mike says, leaning back in defeat.

* * *

"Where do think Louis is right now?" Rachel asks the table, her fingers picking at the little bit of bread to the side of her.

"Is he behind us?" Harvey offers, frowning.

"I'm serious. Who do you think he's spending his first day here with?"

"I really don't know...I've never seen him connect with any of the other partners." Donna adds.

"I feel so sorry for the guy. Really. making connections is not his forte." Rachel says, slightly piteous look on her face.

"Don't ever feel sorry for Louis, Rachel." Harvey says, giving her a slightly condescending look.

"Rach, he's right. Louis is….Louis." Donna adds, smiling to her friend.

"So. All I'm saying is I know what it's like to be surrounded by people who you don't share a camaraderie with."

"What am I? Filler?" Donna offers, gawking deliberately at her friend.

"No. Not you! I mean with the Partners. And being a faceless paralegal doesn't put you on the map."

"Sweetie, you're on the map. Trust me." She assures her friend.

"Is Louis on the map?" She asks the table.

"Louis is…" Harvey starts, his tone immediately earning a look from Donna.

"Harvey…" Donna warns. _Another habit. _

He gives her a look back, his jaw hardening before continuing. "Louis is very good at what he does. The partners know that. But in a social arena, he's not necessarily given the same considerations. That's just the difference between playing the game and winning the game." He says, taking a sip of his drink as their prospective food arrives.

Mike had ended up with a Pastrami and Rye sandwich with horseradish and Harvey deciding on a steak sandwich with pickles. Rachel was goaded into going for her favourite goats cheese and shrimp pizza once again and Donna decided on a hot potato salad; with the need to eat healthy and still feel full enough to quash her already uneasy stomach.

She looks over to Harvey's plate, noticing his order, as she leans back, trying to dull another habit that had opened up between them over recent years.

"Pickle?" He offers, sighing.

"Ugh. No, it's fine." She waves him off, trying not to gain the attention of her two friends.

"Give me your plate." Harvey suggests, gesturing to her.

"No. I'm...I'm good." She waves off the offer, trying at nonchalant.

"But you...always steal my pickle?" He says, a slight irritation.

She's sure that he's within his rights to be pissed, but at that moment she really doesn't care about him.

"Not today. Today I'm very much _against _the pickle." She looks at him briefly, looking back at her lunch and trying desperately not to contact the three pairs of confused eyes boring into hers with different subtexts behind them.

"Donna."

"Keep the damn pickle!" She finally snaps, her cheeks reddening as the table falls silent. She ignores his confused stare.

It's possibly the most awkward three seconds of the day.

"Donna, could you pass the ketchup? Mike asks, trying to diffuse the matter.

"Sure." Donna half smiles, passing the bottle to Mike.

She feels Harvey's gaze throughout the entire meal.

_But somethings are better left broken..._

* * *

Keeping up with a leggy Redhead wasn't easy when you'd had a big lunch.

"Donna," Harvey called under his breath, following her up the hill to their suite. She didn't even blanch, instead upping her pace to counter his catching up with her.

"Donna will you just...**stop**!" He finally called after her, now losing all the patience he had left.

"What?" She swung around, that fused look on her face. "What, Harvey?"

"I can't help but think that you're punishing me for telling you?" He says, that sharp light in his eyes.

"NO. I'm just,"

"What? Just what?" He gestures, steely eyed.

"I'm…" She stumbles on the words, occupied by his concentrated attention on her.

"Donna," He presses, that agitated look in his eye.

"I don't know what to think anymore, okay? I can't...decide how I feel about any of it."

"Then work it out." He says under his breath, just close enough for her to hear.

"It's not that simple, Harvey."

"You said that a year ago. It was bullshit then and it's bullshit now."

"Harvey, just...You told me you would give me time. I need that Time." She says, swiping her key card into their room as he follows her.

"No, I said I'd let you think about it. _And I am._" He says, waiting for her to turn around.

"No, **you're pushing**. Like you've pushed all god-damned day!" She says, her voice peaking as her words echo his.

Finally it breaks. She's just..._It's too much_, this part of him. It always has been, and it scares her.

"After ten years, _you need a little push_." He remarks, shaking his head.

She shakes her head, having had enough of this as she fishes for the keycard out of her purse, swiping it roughly as the green light appears for her to open the door, him soon following after her.

"Will you stop saying ten years, like I'm _the only person you've ever_-" Her eyes unfocus as she tries to pick words out of the air.

"Ever what? Loved? I think that..." He says, his voice quiet then. "You might be."

It catches her breath. And she's not ready. She wonders if she ever will be, and just who's really in the wrong.

"Then what was Scottie?" She fires at him.

"Donna," She sighs, shuffling his footing as he examines her question. "I loved her. But I wasn't..."

"_In _love with her?"

"No. And that was the problem. Somewhere between leaving Harvard and seeing her again….you appeared into my life. And you made...an impression."

_It's possibly the most eloquent thing he's ever said. A honest. And confusing and..._

"Harvey," She breathes.

"Donna. You need to figure it out. You're the only one who's unsure." She says, looking at her like she's steadily going insane. _Which may not be too far off of the mark_. "I don't know what to say anymore." He says frankly, before walking into his room and shutting the door.

* * *

Notes: Bit of a filler chapter, have a little more of the flashbacks in the next one. A~


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_**Five Years Previous...**_

_The next morning Donna had woken up so early, giving rise to an itch she couldn't scratch and the memory of last night that she couldn't scratch out, that she'd found herself in the Spa with an early booking for a swedish massage. Something to take the edge off..._

_Her attention caught when a therapist stood in front of her._

"_Ms Paulsen. My name is Andrea. I'm afraid we've had a double booking for this morning. However someone else listed on your retreat group also has a swedish massage booked, so we could squeeze you in? How does that sound?" The woman smiled at her, in that strangely placating way that therapists usually do._

"_Right. Okay. Sure." She shrugged. "Why not." She said, a hint of sarcasm playing between her teeth._

"_Please follow me?" The therapist asked with a practised smile._

_She sighed, following the woman into the room to change. When she came out of the cubicle, the therapist was waiting to escort her round the corner to the massage table._

"_Oh God this is the best massage in all of the Northern States…" She heard the voice say as she rounded the corner into the warm, orange-lit room._

_Of all the people...**Louis Litt**._

_She felt the niggle of doubt in her gut drop through the floor with an anvil-like weight._

_**This was going to be an experience**, she thought to herself._

_Thankfully, he was face down in the massage table, moaning for all he was worth. Moaning... _

_Inappropriately, too. She shivered a little at the strange cat-like sound he made._

_The lady pointed to the table. "Okay Mis-"_

_She quickly silenced the woman with a finger to her mouth, as she wordlessly slid onto the table._

_Of all the people to appear in her life, during her moment of solitude, Louis Litt was the worst possible choice. Not only for the run-in at her hotel room, but just for the sheer effort that it took to humour the man. And sure, she liked the guy, he could be sweet, knew his boundaries with her after she had called him on the 47 faults she had found in him so far. But right now, listening to Louis's incessant talking was not her idea of a quiet escape._

"_Is there anywhere in particular you'd like me to start? Any areas that need attention?" The therapist asked._

_She dragged her towel up around her to look at the therapist to mouth the words 'back' as she pointed to her shoulder, ignoring how the therapist looked at her like she completely insane, and lowered back onto the massage table._

_When she finally felt the woman's hands on her, only then did she even begin to relax; feeling the tense knots in her shoulders start to soften with the women's firm touch._

"_Oh, that's the spot right there. Above the metatarsal? I'm on my feet all day you see with my job. As a Junior Partner for a major law firm. In New York City of course. Only morons practise in the south."_

_She heard Louis burst into a self-induced over-explanation to a completely mute therapist._

"_Oh that's it. Oh, you're incredibly talented with your hands, that is fantastic, I-"_

"_Shut up LOUIS!" She shouted out of the hole in the massage table, her eyes flicking to the direction of his voice._

_It was safe to say she'd had enough by this point..._

"_Donna?" He scrambled her name in his mouth. "Are you here as well? Why didn't you say so?" She heard him call back, a slight strangled sound seeming like the product of the therapist trying to force his head back into the hole of the table against his will._

_She rolled her eyes._

"_I...didn't know it was you, Louis. Sorry." She said half-heartedly, a smile pulling at her reluctant lips._

"_How are you?" She heard him ask._

"_Good. Did you find...Harvey, last night?" She didn't really want to mention him, but it seemed like the best course of action to deflect from last night's events._

"_Eventually. I swear Harvey shirks any and all work that comes his way."_

"_You know that's not true, Louis." She chided, rolling her eyes, regardless of the fact that no one could see her characterful expression._

"_Isn't it? Like the guy can't answer his phone when it's in his pocket. Either that or…."_

"_Or what, Louis?" She asked, a disjointedness in her delivery as suspicion worked it's way into her pre-emptive streak._

"_I think he...had an impromptu 'rendezvous' of with one of the staff last night. If you catch my drift."_

"_Rendezvous as in-" She asked coyly._

"_Yes. Sex." He answered. "God knows what kind."_

_She stifled the need to laugh sarcastically at his words. "How do you know it was staff? Maybe he met someone…" She tried with all her might to stop her voice from denting as the words trailed off. _

"_He always pegged me as a guy who didn't mind mixing work and pleasure."_

"_Well I don't know, you'll have to ask him yourself." She shrugged into the table, feeling the therapist's hands pausing until she finally stopped moving._

"_Like he'd answer me honestly, Donna. Harvey doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Accept for maybe-" He said, his voice trailing off._

"_Why do you hate him so much?" She fired the words, as much to stop them both thinking about a part of Harvey Specter's anatomy - of which she could have a thorough opinion on - as the fact that once again people just didn't get him. Louis didn't get him. And although their relationship might have just taken a slight detour, as always, she seemed to be the only one who really understood the elusively private side of Harvey Specter enough to defend him._

"_I don't...hate him, Donna." He says tenderly. "I just object to his arrogance; that assumption that he can have whatever he wants and not worry about the consequences."_

"_He doesn't __**really**__ think like that, Louis. You know that, right?" She pointed out, her voice deliberately trying to cloy at his heartstrings._

"_Well, he certainly gives off the impression that he does." He said with a huff. She pictured his expression in her head with a crystal clarity. _

"_We all have our way, Louis." She said, a little more to herself than she'd intended. _

"_How do you stay with him? Put up with him, I mean?" He asked then. _

_Now that, was the golden question._

"_I know who he really is, Louis. It's easy when you really know someone." It was true. There were far worse men out there to work within 15 feet of. She knew first hand of that little discovery. _

"_You're a good woman, Donna. Too good for him. Another League."_

"_I know. Thank you Louis." She smiled, silently suppressing the last sigh of immediate tension as it flooded out of her._

"_You know, if you ever need a break from him I can always ask Norma to-"_

"_That won't be necessary Louis." She cut him off. Then thought better of it. "But... thankyou."_

"_For what?" He asked, seemingly unperturbed._

"_More than you think." She says, relaxing finally._

* * *

When Donna emerges from her room the next morning, breath held and feet light against the wooden floors as she tip toes into the lounge, she stops immediately when she notices the bathroom and bedroom doors wide open, and not a sound in the Suite.

_It appeared he was avoiding her just as much as she was trying to avoid him…_

That at least substantiated her completely out of body experience. _She wasn't a coward_. Didn't shirk things. At least not as a mature adult. This was new territory for both of them.

She sighs, releasing what little air is left, her heart still thrumbing against her chest as she walks to the main door. _He's probably running_, she thinks to herself. Given the early hour and his penchant for keeping regularly in shape it seems like the most reasonable outcome. She too feels the need for a little workout after yesterday. A chance to loosen the knots that have begun to weave into her neck and shoulders was seeming all too tempting right about now.

She finds herself wandering out to the indoor pool, a beautiful and ornately decorated room, with lodge-like wood panelling that lifts into a painted clear blue sky ceiling. It's completely empty, considering the beautiful weather outside, which makes for the perfect kind of quiet isolation that she is craving this morning.

_A moment to escape in the calming tides of the water and paddle her woes away…_

"**_Give me leave. Here lies the water, Good,_**" Calls a voice.

The moment she hears the voice, she freezes on the spot and closes her eyes, listening to the words as the voice continues, a strangely secret smile growing on her lips.

"**_Here stands the man. Good. If the man go to this water_**

**_and drown himself, it is, will he nill he,_**

**_he goes. Mark you that. But if the water come to him_**

**_and drown him, he drowns not himself. Argal, he_**

**_that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.?_**"

She turns then, a wry smile on her face and a deliberate bounce in her step as she says boldly. "**_But is this...law_**?" She smirks.

She looks into the shining eyes and cat-like grin of Louis Litt. Fellow Shakespeare aficionado.

"One of my favourite scenes." He notes.

It's only then that she notices his bath robe and a towel wrapped around his head as if it's drying anything other than _scalp_...

"Really?" She asks, her face falling fractionally, trying not to focus on the towel or any possibly naked part of him. It didn't bare thinking about. She'd already heard from the fake horse's mouth what it looked like covered in mud...the thought fleets through her mind again. She curses Mike Ross. "Not_ Ophelia's speech_?" She swallows, looking away from his very baby blue, fluffy cashmere self.

"Of course. But I try to not listen to the main characters of the play. They only ever talk about themselves. Instead,_ I_ listen to the _other man, _the worker bee listening in on the scenes. They're the ones that have the audiences ears and voice. Now_ that_, is the real gold of Shakespeare's art." He says, gesturing passionately.

"Observation." She answers, smiling. She thought that was her tact, _not his_.

"Exactly." He grins back. "Speaking of, where's Harvey on this fine morning?"

"I uh..running. _I think_." She shrugs. "It's not my job to keep tabs on him, Louis." She remarks, the edge appearing in her voice.

He doesn't miss a beat, and for a moment she wonders how he is so onpoint these days. _Must have been that attack of the heart..._

"You wanna talk about it?" He offers, the look he gives her becoming serious all of a sudden.

"You think I don't know when you and Harvey have a fight? It's written all over the two of you and it spreads like wildfire. _What did he do now?_ As if I even have to ask…." He asks. He always asks.

"Who says it's him?" She fires back, a disarming look painted on her face.

"When is it _not_? I swear he wouldn't know selflessness _if hit him in the ass_-"

"Louis. It's...complicated. Okay, it's…" She stumbles on the words when she realises that perhaps he's more right than wrong this time. "...none of your business." She finally finds the words tugging at her lips with deliberate intent.

"Look," He says, his hands coming up in defense against clearly pushing past a respectable boundary of hers. _Not that she really minds, it always has been for show. _"I'm not trying to pry, but if you need somebody to talk to, _I'm here_…" He says.

_Seems everyone is changing at this retreat._

"Louis… I...thankyou." She says, simply.

"For what?" He frowns, taken aback at her answer.

"For just...being _**you**_." She answers, smiling softly. "For the offer."

"You're welcome. And as always, if you need a break from him, I can be onto Norma in five minutes telling her to get her fat ass out of that-"

"Too far." She says, cutting him off with a stern look.

He claps his mouth shut and nods, making his well timed exit.

She turns to the pool, looking down into the deep end, the dark, slightly poorly lit water rippling out into darker and darker blues.

She takes one more look around the poolside, checking at the entrances,

Before finally diving in.

The water is perfect.

It was _exactly what she needed._

* * *

She isn't at the Suite when he gets back. He sighs, shutting the door behind him with a might more force than he ought to, throwing his sweater onto the floor.

He understands why, but he doesn't like it; the idea of her ditching the situation makes the bile rise up in his throat and the need to punch something hard shoot with a wire tight intensity to both of his hands.

He can't help it. He's exposed and he doesn't like it.

The truth is he expected more, expected her to treat his words with more care, not react against them like they were some kind of poison. He knows he's only just scratched the surface of her refusing the idea of them being more than they currently are. He knows that he set it in motion in the first place, from day one, and that she may fight tooth and nail to punish him for that fact. Hell, maybe she's secretly been punishing him this entire time; pushing him towards other women and encouraging him to grow and care whilst simultaneously denying the one thing he only now realises he always wanted over all other things in the first place.

_Her_.

He wonders just how he's managed to ignore it; that need, that missing sentence he daren't utter, especially to the likes of her.

He's changed. And as much as he wants to he just can't go back now.

He just hopes that she realises, _eventually_,

_That she can't either._

They have to both move forward,

What ever way dice rolls.

* * *

She decides to shirk team sports. It's not essential for her to be there; she's not a Partner and she works her job out just fine.

She figures that it's good for Rachel to get in the mix, and the rest of them - Mike included - will be there. She takes the opportunity to go for a walk. With barely any cell phone reception and messages taken solely at the desk, she figures a walk into the mountains would give her some grounding, something to sort the lack of filling in her head right now.

She waits until she knows that the event out near the lake has started, and grabs her hiking boots, a book, sunglasses, her camera and an assortment of snacks and water for the journey. She decides to take it easy. No point in rushing to run up a mountain with no cell phone service.

_She'd seen Deliverance._

She didn't even have a Penis and yet it still put her off idea of trekking out too far alone.

_That and hearing the sound of Banjos in open spaces..._

* * *

It's been digging at him since the Team Build Sports Day had begun.

They're only half an hour in when Mike decides to corner him at the front of the dodgeball line.

"Hey Team Leader," Mike jokes, patting Harvey on the back as he raises his gaze, giving the younger man a dead-panned warning look.

"Hey," He says reluctantly.

"Rachel and I were wondering...where Donna was?" He asked his friend, looking to Rachel as she hung way in the back of the line.

"I don't know Mike. Not _here_." He commented, aware of his tone.

"Okay...I'm just. Worried about her. Was she okay when you last saw her?"

"No. Dad. She was...pissed at me." He said reluctantly, rolling the Volleyball between his hands.

"What did you do?"

"Who says I did anything?" He barks back. _Who the hell he thought he was to be giving him a hard time was beyond him, _he thinks as he looks out to Jessica eager to start the game.

"Okay. But don't you think it's weird that she's not here? Maybe she's sick or-"

"Mike," He says then, his voice dark under the cover of his breath as he leans in. "Drop it." He says, looking at him.

"Okay." Mike says slowly, wandering to the back of the line.

"If you two girls have finished arguing," Jessica calls to them. "We've got a game to start," She remarks, looking to Harvey as she earns a chuckle or two from the group.

He hasn't got the time to think about Donna right now.

Unfortunately Mike sticking his five eggs in now has him feeling worse than pissed,

He's now worried.

* * *

It takes about an hour of walking before she realises that this is nothing like it was with her parents. Walking alone in a forest is a stupid idea. For so many reasons. And she's far too intelligent and logical and past infancy to have somehow missed all of them. So, quite against type she finds herself wandering back to the Suite, changing into something soft and falling onto the couch with a heaviness and a gossip magazine she managed to sneak into her carry one with enough rumours to keep her busy for an hour until the Sports Team thing wraps up.

It's not the most exiting thing to do but somehow she warms into the idea of just relaxing out the stress.

It's not long, about an hour and a half of her reading cover to cover twice - once for photos and a quick glance, then a second to zoom into particular articles of interest - until she hears a beep, watching Harvey appear from behind the door. For a moment the look her gives her is sharp, and full of accusation, before he abates it and gives her a smile that doesn't quite match the tension around his eyes. He's dewy and warm looking, like he's been running around outside for hours. It's calmly and somehow very sexy of him. She immediately ignores the fact.

"Hey." She says, looking back to her magazine. Trying at casual.

"Hey." He parrots, stalking over to the minibar to pull out a little bottle of water, his face examining hers. "How was your day?" He asks calmly. _And odd calm for such an ill-tempered man..._

But she knows better than to verbally question the tension evident in his body.

"Good, yours?" She asks, careful enough to keep her voice light. Casual. Non-aggressive.

"You missed the Team building," He says briskly. "And Louis spraining his ankle." She catches the slight smile at the last part.

"I know. And..._I know_." She smiles back. _She had overheard one of the staff mocking the situation over at the cafe. Something about some balding wuss and a young woman tackling him to the floor… She knows it was Rachel._

He gives her a questioning look, before walking past her.

She sighs, thankful for the short interchange. The awkwardness is still ripe and gnawing at her nerve. They've never been like this for this long. Usually she would have fixed it be now. What's worse is he seems to be aware of that fact.

"Donna?" He suddenly asks, as she looks around to see him stood by his door, as if he changed tact.

"What?" She asks, watching him with large eyes. The strangeness in his gait. That lack of focus in his eyes like he was between worlds._ He's conflicted_, she thinks.

"This...is **not **what I wanted from this." He says, gesturing between them.

She feels herself chew slightly on her inner lip, looking back to her magazine as the slight singe of guilt sets in. "Me either." She says into the pages, before closing her eyes, and gathering all the courage she has to look him directly in the eye. "I… I've spent all day trying to not think about it. And when I do, I don't even know where to start."

"So...this is it? This is...how it's going to be?" He clarifies then, stepping forward. "How we're going to leave it?"

Again she has no reply for him. _No witty banter or solution._ The absence of such is gear shifting.

"I never pegged you for a sitting duck, Donna." He says bitterly, the words cutting and deliberate.

"Because this isn't just _your life_ we're talking about. It's_ mine_ too. I….**duck sit**, when I'm unsure." She replies, a limp half-explanation.

"About?"

"Us. **You**. All of it."

He freezes, frowning in thought for moment. She watches as his face goes through an array of mixed emotions.

"Are you coming to drinks tonight? Or you gonna shirk that too?" He asks, the rife indignation peeling out of his voice in spades and more as he grinds his jaw, his chest puffing out.

"Hey," She says roughly, standing as she slaps the magazine down onto the chair cushion, it's double spread page denting slightly at the force. "**I'm not shirking anything.** You spring this on me at a work retreat, Harvey! Did you not think that maybe you could have taken me out before OR after; taken me to dinner and told me? Or come to my apartment and told me? Anywhere where there aren't our friends, and our Boss and over a dozen Managing Partner's and their wives present to tell me that you suddenly want to start sleeping with me; **_your assistant_**?"

He backs down minutely, but doesn't move an inch. _He's either brave or doubly as stupid_, she thinks.

"It was just a question." He says, his jaw locking. "Look, I...need you there."

_And she's heard that before._ Like it was the pillar and foundation of their relationship.

**Need.**

She looks up at him just standing there.

She sighs then, exhausted from even having to rehash their earlier fight, and torrid the of emotion that releases as a result.

"I'll think about it." She says softly.

"Okay." He nods, wandering into His bedroom.

* * *

When she hears the shower go, she sneaks out of the room to wander downstairs, dressed to the hilt. She knows it's childish but she needs to quash the flame of reservation in her stomach with some kind of mind altering substance before she even thinks about trying to level this matter out. Unfortunately the half-shot drug dealer come fake lawyer was now an investment banker. _She'd have to remind Mike of his previous downfall, just to keep him on his toes. _

She finds a small smoking room, with an ornate little bar, and people milling about as she perches up onto a black leather stool, the faint sound of piano lounge music playing all around her.

"Good evening. What can I get you?" Asks a tall bar tender, with light green eyes that contrast wonderfully against his darker, almost coffee coloured skin.

"I'd like a whi-" She paused mid-thought, feeling like a cliche. _The assistant who only drinks what her boss does_... "I'd like a..Vodka Martini. Lots of olives. And a twist? Thankyou."

"Of course," The man smiles.

"Donna," She hears the word next to her, as she turns to see Jessica dressed in a wrap around charcoal dress, with an elaborate jet black belt and crimson lips.

"Jessica. Hi. How are you? You look stunning." She remarks. It was always a delight appreciating the woman's unfiltered sense of style through powerful shapes and provocative necklines whilst still managing to look demure. It was an art lost on many but not on her.

"Thankyou...I'm tired. Nice dress." She says pleasingly, sitting next to her. "_Gin and Tonic_. Double lime. Thank you." She demands to the Bartender, before turning back to her. "You look...pensive?" She observes, squinting at her with long black eyelashes.

"Oh just…" She stiffens, sitting up a knotch.

"Harvey? He told you, didn't he?" She grins, that luscious grin of hers.

_Of course Harvey would have told his 'mother' about it all..._

"I...tell me what?" She asks, trying to feign ignorance.

"That he wanted...more. Come on, Donna," She chides, rolling her eyes at the redhead. "Let's examine the elephant in the room."

"Yes." She sighs, relinquishing. "He did." She confirms; smiling briefly to the Bartender as she takes her fully loaded olive drink with a twist of martini. _A light supper, by drinking standards_. "Let me guess...he talked with you beforehand, didn't he?" She guesses, taking a sip of her drink. It tastes like petrol and pimento. She wrinkles her nose at the distaste in her mouth, trying to suppress the urge to spit it out, as Jessica watches with humour filled eyes. _In all honesty, she could have done with a whiskey._

"Got it in one. It was an...interesting conversation, to say the least." Jessica says, frank once again as she takes her own drink.

"I just want you to know that_ we never_…"

"I know everything, Donna." She interrupts. "I know about before. It suddenly made a lot of sense, actually."

"How so?" She frowns into her drink.

_She and Harvey have never made a lick of sense in her book. _

She likes blonde doctors over six foot two who love her too much and let her run riot, and Harvey hasn't dated out of his petite brunette mold since birth. His mother was Blonde, so she always figured he was deliberately trying to avoid the notion that he should date anyone who even so much as resembled her. It may have been the reason why she didn't like Katrina. Partly.

"When Harvey came to me, asking to come back to the firm. I was shocked. First, he rescinded my offer of coming back after Daniel and I made our moves, and then five minutes later he was back, _begging for a job_. Of course...it had been about Cameron Dennis. I understand that now, more than I did back then. But when he asked about coming back he said that one condition, the only real one was _on having his own assistant_. And I told him 'Associates don't have their own assistants'. I laughed in his face. And he told me that 'it wasn't about the associate, it was about the assistant'. And that he 'wasn't coming here without her'. And at the time I said to him 'She must be very special'. And you know what he said? 'She is'. And I'm telling you, Donna...I've never seen him smile like that about another person. Not until that point. And not after." She says, taking a sip of her drink as it's placed in front of her as if it's the finish line to her party piece.

"What can I say. I'm good at my job." She jokes dryly, twitching an eyebrow and twirling her olives around in the glass, as they merge with the lemon peel in their liquid space.

"Oh come on, Donna," She tiredly scolds her, exasperation making her physicality loose as she leans against the bar counter, giving the younger woman a knowing glance. "**_You know it's more than that_**. I think...that he's struggled with what you mean to him for a very long time." She say gently, motherly. "And I understand your reservations about you two getting involved. I'm...concerned, too. But you've both only ever acted with the firm in mind...and if it's what you want then who am I to stop _you_, or Harvey from being truly happy. And let's face it,_ I think we're all interested to see what happy looks like when he's truly happy_." She jokes.

"It could be frightening." She says, deadpanned, earning a laugh from her indirect Boss.

"It could be... but he's my partner now, and he means as much to me as he does to you. In some ways maybe more. So, in return..._you'll not hear a word from me on it_. Whatever you choose to do." She shrugs slightly before sliding off of the stool with her drink.

"I don't know if it's even what I really want." She says, still staring at her drink. She feels pathetically weak in the dawning of that feeling.

"You'll never know unless you try?" Jessica replies, her eyes glinting as if Donna's missed the point entirely.

Her words sink with purpose as they ring into her ears. "_Think about it._" The older woman finally says, a growing smile as she walks away, her parting words lingering long after she has sauntered into the other room.

Donna figures then that it's _time to meet the beast_.

_Her future be damned._


	6. Chapter 6

Notes: Thought I'd break this one up as it turned out so big.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_The Changing Space._

* * *

She's never felt so giddy. So uneasy, the two Martinis swirling around on an almost empty stomach. It's the third that feels like it hasn't quite made it's way down her throat yet, as she pops the empty glass on the bar and tackles walking in 3 inch-high louboutins.

_This really is a strange dream_, she thinks to herself. Like been pushed out in front of a hundred thousand people and told to sing without knowing the song.

He wants more. _As if that was even possible..._

He wants..._her_.

He's 'tired of waiting'.

He's...actually prepared for this; to tell her. Even asked his surrogate Mom for her blessing.

Somehow, despite her strong feelings against the idea of dating her boss, that effervescent feeling that bubbles up between her gut and diaphragm is making her head swim in a cliche, overly romantic way.

If she had an out of body experience she'd probably slap herself for being an idiot, but it wasn't idiocy this time,

_Who was she kidding, she was clearly Martini drunk; halfway between champagne drunk but not quite neat vodka drunk yet._

And Jessica hadn't helped, with her constructive blessing on the matter. It only gave way to opportunity. Which meant moving forwards. But also meant changing things in the first place.

_She feels pathetic. She would laugh in the face of 'this' her for being a pussy._

_She has to focus._ She has a party to attend in the ballroom...in a dress with no back and heels that could be perceived as a weapon. She's spent the last few hours adequately avoiding Mike and Rachel, the idea of them even knowing about what is going on gives rise to a doubt in her gut. She still isn't quite ready to let the world know what's going on when she herself can't even put it all together yet.

She slides quietly into the lodge-themed ballroom, noticing it's oak panelling on the ceiling and the beautiful three-tiered icicle chandelier that hangs like a disjointed mountain in reverse. The lights are pearly and romantic and for a second she swears that he's orchestrated the entire thing just to make a point.

She holds her breath as she walks through the middle of the ballroom, groups passing her in their own booths, some couples dancing in between white snow lillies - most likely imported - and waiters holding champagne for private groups in formation.

She spots Jessica standing, holding champagne and talking animatedly to Cale Franklin; an older Senior Partner. She looks on further and notices Louis frowning in the corner, propped up with crutches and a wrinkled suit as he tries to charm a Junior Partner whose name flits through her mind like an ungrasped temptation. Finally she sees Mike standing solo, rather dashingly so in a charcoal tuxedo and grey bow tie. She sighs comfortably at the sight of her friend and his pleasing attire.

"Hello there, handsome young man." She says in a velvety purr, her lips twitching into a pout.

"Good evening Mrs Robinson." He says, rolling the comment with a razor wit learnt only in her prescence, covering an impressed look on his face as he looks vaguely over her shoulder. "You're gonna break some hearts in that tonight." He remarks.

"Why thankyou. Just one if you're lucky. _Maybe two_." She plays, ever the actress.

"Definitely," Mike nods. "I'll put money on a second." He says, gesturing behind her. She swears that he wears an excited smile on his face just to taunt her. _Such are little brother-types…._

When she looks around to join his gaze she looks back just as quickly, an admonishing look on her face ready just for him.

"I meant Louis." She rolls her eyes, downplaying the look he gives her in return.

"_Of course._ I wouldn't never infer anything to the contrary." He says, a dry humour in his voice as he looks back behind her shoulder, purposefully this time.

_They __**both know **__who's standing there..._

"Shut up." She finds herself saying, a small smile tugging at her forced pout as she gathers all the guile left in her.

* * *

Harvey swallows heavily, straightening in his expensive Tom Ford Tuxedo. He decides that he'll wait for her to turn around when he notices Mike notice him.

Even from the back she was possibly the most beautiful woman he'd ever had the displeasure of not sleeping with more than..._twice_. She looks like a tightly wrapped mint green present delivered just for him, with a slit up the side of her left leg just pointing out like that little red piece of tape at the top of a champagne bottle, an instruction manual of where he should start first, a painstakingly detailed operation. He feels his temperature rise at the sheer sight of her. Every single time she dresses up for one of these things she takes his breath away,

And every time he shoves the thought to the back of his brain like she's just another beautiful woman.

Maybe this time he'll let her know that she's more than that..._just this one time_?

When she turns, her vibrant hair swaying slightly, hiding half of her face as she takes him in.

He starts his assault, casually making his way over to her, noticing Mike watching them both with a hawk eye at every step that brings him nearer to her as she turns, waiting for him.

There's something different about her, he realises. Something different from the Donna of earlier, as she watches him, her statuesque form motionless and very delicate. Not at all like her usual sexually confident poise. When he finally reaches her she visibly relaxes, bending at the hip, before jutting forward to touch his bowtie. The relaxed familiarity making his bones ache.

"You're…nervous." She remarks dryly, the action coming like a second nature to them both.

"Says who?" He replies cockily, looking around the ballroom as her fingers flutter around the edges of the tie.

"Says the Bowtie." She says, giving him a look.

He shrugs happily, noticing Mike still looking at them both out of the corner of his eye. _He swears that kid is ridiculously bad at poker faces. He's like the Seagal of Emotion, _he thinks, his attention flicking back to her as she finishes. He watches as she stands back somewhat, to observe her handiwork.

"You look beautiful." He says, the words falling out like a breath, the sharp inhale of a man finally showing his tell.

"Really? You never say that." Her mouth quirks as she smiles awkwardly. _He could say...shyly._

"Well I'm...saying it... now." He says then, his head bowing and his eyes contacting hers with a profoundness. "_When it counts_."

She clearly isn't used to his outburst, and laughs, a short disbelieving laugh, looking about herself. "I'm going to get a drink." She remarks, gliding past him as her laugh trails off behind her.

It knocks him out of gear, a stutter ready on his lips. "I-Uh...Okay." He says, following her as his hand slides naturally to the middle of her back.

"You don't have to come with," She assures him, pausing either because of the feeling of his touch or his choice to accompany her.

He swears that she actually questions his hand more than the following her.

"I know the tab number, genius" He gawks at her, matching her pace when she continues past him. "And besides...I'm not letting some young hotshot jerk from a fortune five company tackle you at the bar."

"Harvey," She glances sideways, watching him match her strides.

"I mean it. I'm not letting that happen this time." He says, his lips pursing together.

"That never happened last time, Harvey." She reminds him with a wry smile, pushing herself up onto a bar stool.

It didn't. _Other things happened last time. _He remembers them vividly. Hopes to repeat them, some day soon if he's lucky.

"Speaking of _last time_. We should...really..._revisit_ that." He says then, that glint in his eye.

His woulds bring about a deja vu, a moment of their past causing her eyes to widen in response, just a fraction of moment before she rolls them and looks towards the bar.

_It's conceivable that she's not going to so much as acknowledge what he'd said earlier._

The idea of that pisses him off.

_How she can just sweep it all under the rug again like __**none**__ of what he's said to her matters…_

He leans into her then, the faint smell of her perfume overtaking his senses as he focuses on the little dotting of freckles over one shoulder and the smell of hotel shampoo in her fire coloured curls.

There's so many things he wants to say to her. That he's wanted to say for _so_ long.

The music in the background piques his attention, and a thought strikes him.

"Dance with me." He whispers into her shoulder, the moisture collecting on his bottom lip as he grits his teeth not to place a kiss along her clavicle. _It was so easy to fall into something when you were so close to her. _He suddenly realised why they never so much as touch hands anymore.

She turns to him, her eyes close and searching his, judging the legitimacy of his request through the flutter of lashes and her lips parting.

She's suddenly all too tempting.

"Harvey..._we don't..._" She starts.

"I know. But _I want to..._this time. Dance with me." He says again.

"I...haven't had enough to drink." She admits, scoffing, her posture stiffening.

"_You don't need to, to dance with me_." He says, taking her hand and pulling her along him as he marches to the dancefloor without even considering her ability to refuse him.

* * *

The thing about Harvey, the one thing that people seldom know about him,

Is that he was and still is a very, _very_ good dancer. He _loves_ to dance. He loves to spin a beautiful girl around the dancefloor as long as there is a groove and a beat in the background.

In the past she'd watched many a woman be held prey to his allure, but… when Harvey Specter pulled _**you**_ onto the dancefloor you..._danced_. _**Really danced**_. A beautifully led journey; with swaying hips, a little spin here, and there, and maybe even a dip if you're lucky. She'd watched him pull Jessica onto the dancefloor several times; after a few celebratory drinks at the office that had later turned into music and frivolity. And every time Jessica was reduced to a grinning little girl after being escorted through a most complete dance routine.

_She never did asked if he'd been forced to take ballroom as a child._ The thought still occupied her brain in moments like these.

He could do that to you..._if you let him_.

Her palms feel clammy as he leads her through the many couples that have gotten up during the introduction of the music. She feels the swagger in his footsteps ripple out throughout his fingertips as he guides her, naturally, to the middle of the dancefloor. She isn't entirely ready, when he gently spins her around to face him, his feet moving to the beat.

_Baby, love never felt so good_

_And I doubt if it ever could_

_Not like you hold me, hold me_

It was that look he gave her that made her so uneasy. That saturated silence, that almost 'come hither' stare of his that could tell you so many things that he wasn't about to say but you knew he felt. He lifted her by the hand then, spinning her into him so that her back touched his chest, his arms coming around her with their hands still intertwined.

_Oh baby, love never felt so fine_

_And I doubt if it's never mine_

_Not like you hold me, hold me_

For a split second she forgot about every single other person in the room, as she started to relax, her hips swaying against his as she felt his face brush hers she swore she smiled from the top of her head all the way to her toes, and cursed him all the more for making it happen. For bringing that sensitivity out of her. She thanked her lucky stars that he was the only one who couldn't see that fact.

_And the night is gonna be just fine_

_Gotta fly, gotta see, can't believe_

_I can't take it_

_'Cause baby, every time I love you_

_It's in and out of my life, in out baby_

_Tell me, if you really love me_

_It's in and out of my life, in out baby_

She felt him lean into her for moment, his fingers tightening around hers as they danced a little closer than was socially acceptable. She turned around to see him restraining a smile, before spinning her out again to face him.

"What are you trying to do to me?" He warned, spinning her back in again with a that good natured frown of his that he gave her when she did things that were more than a little insubordinate.

"Nothing." She said, feigning ignorance.

_Baby, every time I love you_

_It's in and out of my life, in out baby_

_Tell me, if you really love me_

_It's in and out of my life, driving me crazy_

_Baby, love never felt so good_

He shakes his head, pulling her towards him then, watching her hips play out a rhythm just despite him. _But he was good at this_. _He could catch up._ He pulls her towards him, his hands sliding over her waist to pull them a little closer together.

"Harvey," She says, his name falling out of her mouth with a dullness as she looksover to the booth filled with their various work colleagues. "The entire firm is watching us." She says through her teeth.

"Let em watch." He tells her, tugging her towards him, making them barely millimetres apart. "I'm the Boss."

"Yeah...well the other Boss is now staring at us too." She reminds him. "This looks really bad."

"I'm sure it looks like a lot of things." He replies, looking vaguely in the direction that Jessica is standing. "Since when have you ever cared what people thought about us?"

_He's got a point._

Her reservations only ever really applied to how she felt, not how they were perceived. They'd spent a decade dodging rumours only to ignore them in the end._ Rumours would fly_. They were at the top of their game and ripe for knocking off the perch.

_She's sure she sees Jessica smile in her direction..._

"I **_don't_** care." She says, suddenly feeling more like herself than she has done since she got here.

"Then…._relax_."

"H'Okay." She laughs then, dryly, saving a thought to herself as she falls back to the slightly terrified state she's in.

He tugs on her hands, pulling her flush against him. "Relax. We're just dancing." He says, a deliberate innocence about the statement.

"Oh, Harvey. We've **never** _just danced_." She remarks, smiling at him, her feet stilling.

He too finds a smirk on his face appearing at her reference. "So...you _do_ remember?" He asks, his voice interested.

"That_ I_ was amazing? Why would I ever forget that?" She jokes, a little gussy about her.

"I think if you remember correctly_**I**__ got __**you**__ off in your-"_

"I remember." She interrupts, countering his smug reminder.

"And then it was I that did the-"

"Ahh!" She protested, watching his smug ass grin. "Thank you for the description." She rolled her eyes, ignoring the look he throws at her.

"I'm just sayin'." He smirks.

"You can 'just say'...all the way to the bar." She stops dancing,

"That's fine. I know I was good. I got the moves." He shrugs.

"Ugh. Get me a drink." She orders, moving past him to nudge his shoulder for effect as she walks off of the dancefloor. She sidles up to the bar, as he follows suit.

"What's it worth?" He barters, sliding up onto the stool next to her.

"_My continued standard of excellence at work_?" She offers.

"Don't pretend like it's _solely_ for my benefit." He says. "You're not a charity worker."

"What can I say, I help the poor and needy. And you're often needy when it comes to me." She smiles, finally relaxing as she reaches higher ground between them.

"Funny." He says, restraining a smile as he looks at her with amused eyes.

"I know, right?" She plays, looking down the length of the bar. Not only is it oddly stifling, despite her getting some groove back, but it also gives her a much needed chance to think ahead of him.

_But he's one step ahead of even that._ "You can't plan it all, Donna." He says into her ear.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She says, her head whipping around meet his dark gaze.

"I know what you're doing. Stop it." He says, before looking towards the bartender waiting patiently. "The lady would like…" He starts, before inferring her.

"Two tequilas. Straight up." She says, leaning on the bar. "Thanks.'

"Donna?" He questions, frowning, then nodding to the Bartender as he hands over the bar tab card.

"I need something to take the edge off." She shrugs.

"Is it really that stressful a situation?" He asks, his head lolls to one side, with that slightly adorable way that he questions her.

"Harvey...It's..._a lot_. To process. I'm sharing a suite with my Boss, who's just told me that after ten years, he wants to...what...do you want?" She asks, her eyes wide suddenly.

"Everything." He says, picking up his shot.

_So that's how he's going to play it…_

"Wait!" She suddenly says, completely halting him as she slaps her hand down on the bar. "Put it down."

"Seriously?" He frowns, making a face.

"We're entering into a temporarily binding contract, Harvey. You say what _you_ want, then I say what _I_ want. We agree. Then we take the shot."

"Okay. Fine." He shrugs tiredly.

"Okay...I do not want people at working knowing." She says.

"Isn't that going to be a little hard to keep up?" He offers, deliberately sneaking a glance at the partners staring back at them.

"_Fine_." She huffs. _He's already being a pain in the ass. "And _I want us to...date. _Properly_. No falling into bed every night just because _you think_ you have me."

"Difference is, I know what it takes to keep you." He counters.

"I'm serious, Harvey. You're not going to have me there, coaching you through it this time. You want it...then I'm not going to go easy on you." She warns.

"You've been going easy on me?" He jokes, the look of challenge about him.

"I'm not going to explain every damn feeling for you."

"You...never did explained this one to me." He says.

She lets the comment slide. She has her reasons. Something of hurt, and embarrassment and swallowing it all for him eleven years ago. But it's counterproductive right now without them getting into another fight.

"I'm not always rational, out of the office. Can you really handle that?"

"I handle you telling me what to do everyday." He says, watching her face falling at him dry statement. "I'll be fine. I know you, Donna."

"Is that what you think?" She says then, looking out to the bar.

It was conceivable that she didn't even really know herself, separate from him, these days.

She's sure she's made up someone to be around him, and somewhere in those ten years she got lost behind it all.

"Okay then..._Donna_?" He asks, turning to her; his face suddenly purposeful.

"What, Harvey?" She says, feeling her breath hitch as he examines her.

"I want to get to know you. The** real** you. Outside of work."

The way he looks at her, his expression soft, even against the prominent planes of his face forces a blush to her cheeks.

It's only been an hour and yet it's happen already.

The deconstruction of Donna Paulsen.

"Okay." She nods, a nervous smile appearing, before a direct thought takes over. "But if it doesn't work out, then I want our work situation to stay the same and I want us to be the same as we always have. To be friends."

"Donna. We've never been just friends." He says then.

_He may be right. And she's missed the evidence of it this entire time..._

"Harvey, it's important to me. Us. Work."

"Okay. We'll...try to make things stay the same...at work...if it doesn't work out."

"And I won't be leaving my job. Or selling my apartment. Regardless of what happens." She says, a readied stubborness waiting for him as her chin lifts and she straightens in her chair defiantly.

"I don't want that either, Donna. And as long as you don't have to live in it: Fine." He replies.

"Live in it?" She queries, a worried look on her face.

"Donna?" He warns gently.

"Okay." She huffs, her chest rising to swallow her objection. "Deal?"

"Deal." He confirms, raising his shot.

"Okay...here we go." She says, raising her own as her eyes bore into his.

"To ...us?" He offers.

"Don't jinx it."

_There's not enough tequila in Mexico._

* * *

Okay. Should have another one for you guys soon! Please feed the kitty!


	7. Chapter 7

Notes: Many thanks to everyone who's fed back. Glad you're enjoying it. Here's another slice. A~

**Chapter 7**

* * *

_Oh,_

_Make love to me, _

_One more time, _

_Before you go away._

_Why can't you stay?_

_Oh, my love,_

_Come home to me_

_Just for a while_

_I'll leave this piece in you_

_Oh, Can't you stay._

_Don't run away_

_Don't slip away my dear..._

'_**The Fall' By Rhye.**_

* * *

He tastes like tequila and lime. Somewhere in the back she wonders if he always had this ending to the night in mind, as her hands pull at his bowtie, following his body as he guides her blindly down the hallway. The suite is lit by the various balconies underneath theirs giving a glow to the air, the edges of his jaw sharper and harder in the light as he looks down at her with an almost black gaze. She eventually yanks the bowtie from his collar, but before she's even thrown it on the floor his mouth has captured hers again, that self assuredness that he's honed over the years as he guides her, his still hand round her waist, into the nearest room. She toes off her shoes, as he pushes her gently towards the bed. She senses the edges, pulling him down onto it,

Until they both pause, sinking into the mattress.

"Oh my god..._this bed_…" She says grabbing for his shoulders.

"It's..._soft_." He manages, pausing. "How did I not notice this? Did they change the quilt on this thing or what..."

"It's...Too soft. I'm sinking into it. _Harvey_..." She says, looking at him with an unusual amount of panic, as she grabs for his arms, a wobble in her legs she tries to sit up.

They look at eachother for a fraction longer until they erupt in laughter at the sudden turn of attention to the bed, the duvet puffing up between them in fluffy clouds as they both struggle to sit up against it.

"What is wrong with this bed? It's like I can't...I can't."

He laughs beside her as they finally sit up, looking to one another. "This is supposed to induce relaxation? Does nobody come here to have sex? Good sex, anyway…" He exclaims, chuckling.

"Only this could happen with us. Shall we try the other room? I'm pretty sure mine wasn't like this yesterday." She suggests between heaves of laughter.

"No," He says, pressing her into the mattress as the duvet bulges around them. "This is...perfect." He says, struggling not to laugh again.

"We can't have sex in this bed, Harvey." She notes, chuckling.

"You're right. The floor?" He offers.

"Your knees?" She reasons, giving him pause.

"Damn it." He relents, cursing under his breath. His knees_ have_ been giving him trouble lately.

"Oh god...it's just...too...poofy." She says, finally resting down on the bed, her legs sliding round so she can lay flat out again.

He straddles her then, looking down at her. "You wanna..._cuddle_?" He jokes, catching on to where her thoughts seem to be headed.

"We can have sex in the morning?" She offers, looking about the moonlit room.

"I'm gonna hold you to that.." He says rolling over to the other side. "I am a little tired." He admits, finding the pile of pillows, and dragging the top one down as he shuffles a little closer to her.

"It's all the tequila we drank."

"That's _your_ fault." He points to her, betraying a little more of his drunkeness.

"Change equals Tequila in several societies," She excuses. "And, _you're_ the one who changed things, Harvey." She accuses. "Not me."

"Well...you were never going to be the one to initiate it, so." He says, getting comfortable. She notes the fact, turning over to face him.

"You can't sleep in your suit." She points out, looking over at him.

"Watch me." He says, an arrogant smile as he edges a little closer to her.

"Please take it off." She groans.

"Donna,"

She rises then, hitching up her skirt to straddle him. "I'll take it off?"

He grins then, watching as her fingers drift down to the bottom of his shirt.

"I don't have a problem with that," He remarks, looking up at her as she gradually undoes each cufflink that holds his sleeves together, placing each one on the bedside side table, before starting at the middle of his shirt.

"Not starting with the pants first, huh?" He observes, enjoying the view.

"I don't want us to divert from the plan. I remember how easily distracted you can get."

"We _may _divert from the plan." He admits, looking up at her again, this time with that sultry look in his eye. "Did I tell you, you look beautiful tonight?"

"You did. But I appreciate it anyway." She says, raking her hands down his chest. "Come here," She says, pulling his shoulders for him to sit up. He manages to just prop himself up, looking up at her with that liquid courage of his. She bends down, as his lips raise to meet hers, capturing her bottom lip between his, as he groans into her mouth, his hands sliding around her ass.

"You're deviating," She warns, smiling against his lips, as her hands cradle his head.

"Hell yeah, I am." He all but purrs.

She grins then, her lips trailing down one side of his neck as he hangs his head back for a moment. "Donna…" He breathes.

She grins into his neck as her hands make their way down to the belt buckle on his dress pants, gently opening it, as his lips meet hers once more, him encouraging her to sink a little deeper against him in her still straddled form. She finally releases his legs, laying beside him as shuffles out of his trousers, flinging them onto the floor.

"We better get you out of that dress," He says, his voice low and sultry almost as she turns her back to him, letting him pull the hidden zipper to her dress as it slides open against her back, revealing the lacy bodice underneath.

"Well...aren't you a treat." He remarks, the dress pooling around her seated form into the thick fluffy duvet to reveal the curves of her thighs and barely visible freckled back behind a wave of red curls. She turns to him over her shoulder, her lips pulling into a sly grin. "Well. What are you waiting for? I can't sleep in this." She points out, indicating the lacy bodice.

"Be patient." He chides, his hands roaming over her material covered back. He frowns after a moment of looking. "How do I get this damn thing off?" He asks, frowning.

"Oh," She exclaims, turning to him then. "It does up at the front," She indicates, pulling the puddle of dress from under her and letting it slide off of the bed, as she leans forward.

"Aren't I lucky." He remarks, smirking at her as her pulls her closer, his fingers working on the various hook and eyes as he kisses her jaw. She finds herself moaning against him, his lips crushing against hers to drown out the sound as his hand undoes the last clasp, her bodice sliding off of her for him to flippantly throw it on the floor behind him. He's not shy, as he takes in her almost naked form, before his hands slide over her hips and she bites her lip as he presses his growing arousal against her inner thigh.

"I don't wanna wait till morning," He whispers into her ear, grinding against her, issuing a cool inhale of air into her lungs as he envelopes her in his arms.

"I gathered." She says with a smile, before pushing him down onto the bed with a smile.

They throw the quilt onto the floor, where they inevitably end up.

* * *

_It's different from the last two times._

So different that she can't really place it.

She feels...warm and dewy and altogether muddled about the situation.

The last time was...raw and functory and filled with sexual impulse. The first time was...the first time. Exciting and new and..._whipped cream filled_. And yet this time was _so_ different. Three times all spanning five years between them. It was odd, unnatural even to consider how long it had been since they'd first met. She feels him stir slightly against her. He's actually molded to her back, his breath warm and tickling her neck every so often with a heavy exhale, his hand flat against her stomach.

With any other man, she'd feel stifled. Smothered. But somehow, his hand there is warm and comforting, as she looks out the window, between sleep and awake.

_I feel now about you then_

_I'm just glad I can explain_

_You're beautiful and close and young_

_In those ways we were the same_

_There's a lot I've not forgotten_

_I let go of other things_

_If I tried, they'd probably be_

_Hard to Find - The National 'Hard to Find'_

Before she's even aware, she is completely and deeply asleep.

* * *

He wakes up once in the evening...to her snoring, loudly, and smiles, gritting his teeth that she'll probably never believe him when he tries to convince her in the morning.

* * *

When she wakes up, they've moved, but are still linked somehow, with her ending up on her side, a leg slung over his as he lays flat on his back with a hand draped on her thigh. It's an odd arrangement, she notices, until she gets distracted just looking at him, stifling a long yawn and daring to peek over at the forty year old child snoring slightly with his mouth agape. The laugh lines around his edges have almost gone and the tension in his jawline has disappeared, and for a rare moment she wonders who he really is and how this one thing could have possibly changed him. She chuckles to herself, but is suddenly distracted by his hand twitching against her thigh. She smiles when his hand slides down her smooth leg to rest around the back of her knee. She leans a little closer to him as his stirs, tilting his body a little bit towards her. It seems so odd to be watching him, lay there asleep whilst in his company. She isn't exactly used to sleeping around him, she realises. Sure, falling asleep in the office, or in the car. But not laid out, in his naturally unconscious position.

This is very much _a new side to him_.

She guesses they both have things to discover about each other.

_Maybe she doesn't know everything._

He stretches then, his hand sliding back up her thigh before he turns on his side, facing her; his eyes opening slowly as he squints against the sun in his eyes.

"Hey…" He says.

"Hey," She says, propping herself on one elbow as she pulls the cover around her, a sudden raise of self-consciousness at her very naked form.

He notices the action as he fidgets, turning back to her with a devilish look on his face.

"Don't even think about it…" She says, carefully looking between his expression and his idle left hand. "Harvey." She warns.

"It's no fun undressing you if I don't _as least _get to see you naked." He reasons, the skin around his eyes crinkling somewhat as he smirks at her.

"It's cold in here." She argues, frowning.

"You know, I have a little remedy for that." He cocks an eyebrow, sliding underneath the duvet towards her.

She's sickened to find herself smiling as his nose bumps hers and he gently pushes her over, leaning so that he can run a cool hand against her skin.

"Well. Good morning," She remarks, feeling him press deliberately against her.

"It could be a _fantastic _morning," He wagers, settling between her thighs as he kisses the slope between her breasts.

She gasps slightly, leaning back at the feeling of his hot mouth, soft and wet against her skin, his teeth grazing the sides of her breasts as she flaps her arms lavishly back against the remaining pillows.

"You know..._I could get used to this_…" She smirks, as his mouth trails a little lower.

* * *

They decide to order in room service rather than go down to a restaurant, with a balcony as impressive as the room caters for, it seems like a grand opportunity missed if they don't at least spend one morning out there. They have the day pretty much free and something's suddenly turned her off of hiking trails and viewing lakes. He doesn't waste the energy wondering why.

Harvey looks over his specially delivered New York Times, spying her glance back at him as she slowly sips her coffee.

"What?" He asks, smirking, before deliberately sighing in recollection of their very fun morning.

"Nothing," She dismisses, a look of ignorance on her face that softens down into a self satisfied tooth laden grin.

"You're re-playing earlier in your head, aren't you?" He assumes, mock irritation on his face.

"It's the endorphins. I can't help it." She reasons.

"You know we could just...replay it in the present?" He offers with a smirk.

"After that...I need little rest." She says, giving him sly look.

"You're welcome." He smiles, referring back to his paper.

"Oh of course. I forgot you're responsible for that entire show in there," She rolls her eyes, referring back to her coffee.

"The beginning of it at least." He says, the words washing off in an arrogant wave as he shrugs slightly.

"Okay." She relinquishes, her face falling. "I'll give you the beginning,"

"I also...kind of gave you the end. At least, _an en_-" His words are halted, by the piece of croissant that makes it's way over the table into his own breakfast. "Do you have to throw things over the table? This is a fancy place." He says, hiding the smirk under the cover of the paper, that he snaps back open for emphasis.

"Shut up." She says, feigning annoyance only to find herself joining him with a smirk of her own.

* * *

In the end it had taken her the bartering scheme just to get out of the Suite in time to meet Rachel. She'd managed to agree on later dinner with him after, in exchange for him to stop making up excuses to kiss her and delay her any further in getting ready, to which she'd been relieved when they'd finally settled on something and she'd shut the door behind her, just to show women-hood everywhere that she could claim back some time for herself just to juxtapose the fact that she had just spent all night and morning with one man.

She and Rachel had joked about Golf the day before, so in true order, they were present at the Golf Station for Mirror Lake Inn Golf. And she was not wearing the correct attire, _**apparently**_.

"Mam, you're going to have to at least rent the shoes." The clerk informs her, his tired gaze looking out at her, waiting for her to make a decision.

"Fine. Yes. That's fine." She finally says, handing him a card from her purse with a huff. "But they better be pretty." She warns, her scowl humour filled.

"Well...if it isn't the missing princess from the ball," She hears Rachel call behind her, turning to see the woman dressed to the hilt in..._women's golfwear_.

_She swears someday's she could kill the girl..._

"You didn't tell me you had everything!" She exclaims, sighing.

"Didn't I?" She stands, frowning.

"I'm about to rent shoes. Rent." She says, deadpanned.

"Oh no. Oh...sorry," Rachel says kissing her friend on the cheek, as Donna hands over her pumps for a pair of what can only be described as the most unladylike shoes she'll ever wear this side of menopause.

"Well...these aren't Manolos, are they?" She comments, smirking at Rachel.

"You'll get used to them. Mine aren't much better."

"Yours are adorable. They're mint green."

"And I got them on sale." Rachel smiles, that apologetic look on her face returning.

She sighs at her friend. "So. We gonna rent a golf cart? Go on a spree?"

"Hmmm. I like your thinking." She muses, grinning from ear to ear. "And by the way, we need to talk about last night at some point, although from your expression you..._thoroughly_ _enjoyed yourself_?"

"Rachel, I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, a coy look on her face.

"Donna. You can't hide it. I saw you and Harvey..." She gestures to her friend, that awkward silence of suggestion on her face.

_It's possible that she's hidden things from Rachel for long enough. The Jig is up._

"Oh sweetie, you have _No Idea.._." She whispers to her friend, before noticing the lingering stare from the man trying to move closer to the counter.

They side step, wandering out of the Shop.

"So….tell me!" Rachel says excitedly. "How was the first time?"

"Oh._ We have a few things to talk about first_…" She says candidly, giving her an uneasy look, linking Rachel's arm with hers as her friend looks at her with wide eyes.

_She realises Rachel has a lot to catch up on..._

* * *

"You know. I should have known." Rachel says, measuring her swing against the stationary ball on the tee. It was the 18th hole.

_Apparently that was how long the story of her and Harvey was_.

"_The way you two danced_...it was too intimate to be the first time. I should have picked that out." Rachel says, turning to face her.

"Well, it's hard to not assume I'm naturally great at everything I do." Donna throws back, smiling lavishly.

"So...ten years? That's...well. It_ is_ good, right? _The 'sex'_?" She asks, saying the last word silently, like only Rachel would do.

She bends at the hip, her hand resting at the waist. "Do you _really _think I'd be having sex with Harvey if it wasn't _at least_ great?" She offers with a proud smirk.

"I don't know. _You love him_. That'll do everything to a woman."

The younger woman was right. Men changed women's standards all the time. But not hers. _Ever. Thankfully._

"Are you telling me that you and Mike don't-"

"Oh no. We have great sex. But, in past relationships...not so good. And I loved the guy, so I overlooked it." Rachel replies simply, hitting the next ball as it courses over the lawn.

"You mean with Sanders?" Donna offers, cocking an eyebrow as she uses her driver as an armrest.

"No, that sex was...mind blowing." She answers frankly. "Adultery'll raise the stakes on sex."

"Really?" She asks, her eyes widening at the scandalously candid information.

"Oh yeah," Rachel sighs.

"The reasons why me and Harvey aren't together have nothing at all to do with the sex, _believe me_. It's," She pauses, serious for a moment.

"How...is..._it_?" Her friend asks, trying to hide a shy smile at the obvious intrusion. "You know...his um…"

She watches her little brunette friend as she blushes.

"You're his associate, Rachel." Donna points out, putting on the pressure.

"I know. It makes it all the more of an interesting question." She smirks. "So?"

"_Oh Rachel_, honey. It's more than enough. I'm not even going to use hands."

"Spoilsport." She smirks, flicking her hair over her shoulder to pick up her tee. "I've got to say…I wasn't sure you'd both actually get there. It seems like the ten-year dance."

"No. We've just...Harvey's...changed. A lot lately. He wants…"

"You?" She offers.

"Apparently." She smiles. "But I told him that I want to take it slow. Work is important, and if it doesn't work out, then I have to still have that. I didn't work ten years for us to get where we are and then throw it all away. It's not just his career on the line."

"Wait. You don't think it's going to work out?"

She frowns then. Rachel isn't as critical of these kind of things as she is. "Rachel, no matter how much he's changed, he's still Harvey."

"But maybe you're the person that he'll be _that guy_, for?" She asks. "Don't get me wrong, I think he's an asshole most of the time, but,"

"You can't change a man, Rachel."

"But a man can change himself if he wants to. And you said he has….changed. He's still an ass me, but...to you?" She offers, moving away from the tee.

It was possibly the most profound thing that the little brunette had ever said.

And like she sometimes could be,

She was right.

* * *

When she finally says it, after dinner, it comes as complete shock to even her. Harvey takes it rather well, all things considered.

"It don't want to go back." She says carefully.

"To where?" He frowns, looking at her from his end of the couch.

"Home. Work." She says simply.

"Why not?"

"Because here, we can pretend that we don't work together. Back there. It's different, Harvey. We're different."

"Well then, we're going to have to learn the balance of the two." He says, an overly objective response coming from a man who usually shot from the hip.

"Easy for you to say, you're the Boss."

"In what medium are we talking here?" He plays.

"Nice try," She says, hitting him softly with the pillow in her hands. "In this, _I'm_ the Boss."

"You're not the Boss of me."

"Really?" She says, testing the fact, as she throws down the pillow, leaning forward to kiss him, long, hard and deliberate.

"Who's the Boss, again?" She asks him again, pouting.

"I'm not that weak. Nice try though." He strains, looking at her with swollen lips and a deviating mind. She presses herself, just gently against him, her hands tracing the lines of his face as he waits to receive another kiss.

"Who's the Boss?" She whispers deliberately.

"Shut and kiss me already!" He says, exasperated. "God, does a man have to beg," He remarks, rolling his humour-filled eyes.

Her lips hover just bare inches from his, until he closes the distance, kissing her fully. When their lips part she smiles that shit eating grin of hers, getting off of him to stand up, thoroughly pleased with herself. "I'm glad we cleared that up." She smiles. "However, I still have reservations on the matter." She says then, giving him a serious look.

"We're doing this. We'll just have to make it work." He shrugs, rearranging the pillows.

She nods, a sigh falling out.

She hopes he's right because for once..._she has no idea._

* * *

Schmoozing was Harvey's least favourite thing to do, along with Pro Bono and showing his cards. By four thirty he's almost decided to resign from the firm completely, having had to listen to partner after partner's lame ass story of the week. He wonders sometimes if he'd made the right decision being a named Partner. Sure, it was the ultimate promotion, save for starting his own firm, but he was shark. A worker bee. A killer. His job was closing and winning and doing, not sitting back and observing and placating people. Jessica had been more equipt for the position from the start; more patience, more charisma when it came to smoothing over problems and people.

He was a switch hitter, but he wasn't a coach.

And the change to had taken some getting used to.

He notices Mike walk into the Lounge, and turns to the assembly of men. "If you gentlemen will excuse me, I have a meeting," He said, looking back to Treagar, a fifty year old partner who's just bored him for nearly half an hour about his latest boating purchase. _Possibly the most uninteresting story ever._ "Mark, don't forget to try that new whiskey I was on about," He points to Treagar, before sidelining Mike, who frowns, following him quietly out of the room.

"A meeting?" Mike queries, his lips twitching.

"Where the hell have you been?" He says to Mike, watching the man fall into a habit as he looks at his former boss with a startled expression.

'Uh….swimming?" He answers, frowning.

"Masculine." Harvey comments.

"What's with the hustle back there?" Mike asks, point behind them.

"Jessica said I needed to 'connect' with the partners more." He answers, rolling his eyes. "It's been two hours. That's time enough in my book." He says, giving the man a low, tired stare.

"And here I thought you were a social butterfly." Mike remarked, smiling at his friend. "So…." He says, purposefully. "About last night," He starts.

"No…" Harvey says gruffly.

"What! You didn't know what I was gonna say!"

"If it's to do with Donna then..._No_…" He says, stubbornly.

"You're no fun anymore…" He says, feigning disappointment.

"_More fun than you_. Tell me, did Rachel leave you your balls this morning, or did she take them to the golf course with her so she and Donna can hit em out of the park?" He says, poking fun at his friend.

"Haaa. This coming from a man who bases his major decisions on his assistants facial expressions."

"She has good judgement." He argues.

"Except with you," He points out, smirking.

"You have no basis for that claim." He rolls his eyes, passing the comment off.

_Mike's right. He has __**more **__than enough basis for that claim._

"But in all seriousness...I'm happy for you two." He says, slapping him on the back.

"There's nothing going on." Harvey says, looking at him with a well practised straight face.

"Sure there's isn't." Mike says, eyeing him back. "_Donna_…" He says.

For a second he thinks the kids gone insane, when he turns around and there's no one standing there behind him. Redhead or otherwise.

"What about her?" He frowns, sneering slightly.

"_Donna_…" Mike repeats, staring at Harvey's face intently.

"What are you?" He gawks, rolling his eyes at his former mentee's behaviour.

"Donna…" Mike says again, measuring his face with almost comical acquity.

"You're an idiot." Harvey says, rolling his eyes once more.

"Your faces changes just minutely when I say her name." Mike examines.

"You really are an idiot. How you got another job is beyond me." Harvey shrugs, walking ahead of him.

"God. You really _**do**_ love her, don't you?" He says.

It stops him, for _just a second_…. His cheekbones hardening as he looks back to meet Mike's very light eyes.

_He shuffled at front of the door, waiting for it to open. _

_She stood there, slightly confused and dew-faced in a bath-robe and towel covering her hair._

"_Hey Harvey." She said, her mouth forming into a tight line._

"_Hey," He replied and shuffled once more, noticing the look of her, so different, so contrasting from the stiff suit he was now wearing. _

"_You're going back early." She stated, observing him shrewdly. _

"_Yeah. This case has practically blown wide open, I need to-" He gestured before she cut him off._

"_I can go pack, if you need me to?" She offered, mirroring his gesture as she pointed behind herself. _

"_No. you should stay. Enjoy the sun." He shrugged. "There's not going to be a lot of paper to push around till Monday, but I do need to get back."_

"_Okay. Are you sure?" She asked, straightening as she pulled the belt of her robe tighter. His gaze drifted to the hem of it, just below the knee as he tried to black out what she looked like underneath it._

"_Of course. Enjoy the holiday." He smiled, his jaw hardening._

"_Okay. See you Monday, then?" She offered lightly._

"_Monday," He nodded, before walking slowly away. _

_A thought stopped him, as he turned back around just in time before the door shut completely. _

"_Donna?" He called, walking towards her._

"_What?_

"_We're...good, right?" He asked. _

"_Of course." She nodded, her face betraying nothing to him._

_That in and of itself was a red flag to consider._

"_You sure about that?" He asked, his hands drifting into his pockets as his eyes narrowed, looking back at her. _

"_Yes. __**It never happened**__, Harvey." She smiled tightly._

"_Okay," He said, nodding but disbelieving her words._

_It did happen. He remembers. Vividly. Just like last time... _

_She watched as he walked down the hall, that slight tightness in her gut releasing as she closed the door in front of her._

* * *

_**A day later…**_

_Donna had been right. He'd needed a holiday. It was never so present then when you had to drag yourself away from an unfinished one. He sighed, leaning back on the leather couch as he spied his watch, coming up to about six o'clock. Another long day at the office, he thought to himself. _

"_Another all nighter?" A voice said at the foot of his office. He looked up to see heels and red bangs watching him from the door. _

"_Aren't you supposed to be...getting a tan?" He joked cruelly, watching her face flatten at the mere reference of her very pale complexion. _

"_The tan will have to wait. Besides, when have you ever actually seen a redhead with a tan. I'll tell you, it's weird. Unnatural. We're supposed to stay ethereal. Plus, the news around town was that you needed me. Badly."_

"_I didn't need you. I replaced you with...Norma."_

"_NO you did not." She laughed, looking up to the ceiling, the image of the newly hired Norma burning in her head._

"_Of course not. You know she scares the hell out of me. She's only been here a few months and already I can smell her from here." He remarked, a distasteful look on his face. _

"_Believe me I have tried to hint. And Norma was the one who called." She noted._

"_About me?"_

"_No. Louis. A cat emergency." She explained, a smile tugging on her lips._

"_A pussy in trouble?" He joked, pouting slightly._

"_Funny," She said, looking at him deadpan. _

_He smirked then, entertained by her expression as he glanced back at his paperwork. _

"_Okay, where do we start?" She asked, walking towards the coffee table to see the paperwork spread out._

"_You really didn't need to come back." He said, leaning back on the couch._

"_Well. That flight was horrendous and I just ordered chinese which will be coming in about...five minutes," She said, looking to her watch. "So, I'm hardly going to go back now, am I? Give me the damn file." She ordered, reserving a smile as she held out her hand._

"_The good place?" He asked, his interest piquing._

"_What do you think I am, an amateur?" She scoffed, marching to grab the paperwork out of his hand, as he feigned irritation at her ballsy gesture and withheld it from her. "The only good Chinese around here." She said, her hips falling on her hands as she gave him a look._

"_Eggrolls?" He asked, his face checking her as he held the file._

"_Of course. And extra fried rice so you don't steal all of mine this time." She accused, sitting down on the cushion beside him and ignoring his little play. _

"_Good." He said finally, handing her the file she had been waiting for as she takes it, giving just the right pressure that she looks at him with challenge and snatches it out of his hands finally._


	8. Chapter 8

Note: I had someone comment that the flashbacks were useless for this fic, so I thought I'd share my two cents of the last section of flashbacks. After they sleep together, and she follows him back to work, knowing that he would need her. They're the same. They just...return to what they were because they have to. They don't have to….anymore. And that's what I'll be exploring, that difference between how they responded to the events 5 years ago and how they respond to them now.

A~

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Chapter 8

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_Forever and always_

_You've got my love to lean on darling._

_All the days _

_Forever _

_Come with me_

_You've got my love to lean on darling._

_All the days_

_You've got my love to lean on darling._

_All the days_

_All of our days - 'That's What's Up' Cover by Lennon & Maisy_

* * *

Donna hated being terrified.

_Being terrified was for losers and twenty-somethings and novices to the world... _

She...was none of those.

_And yet_,

Here she was._ Getting inordinately irritated by the man next to her because of some irrational fear, and all in the last half hour of their three and half hour car ride back to the big smoke…_

Ray had stayed out of it. _Ever the smart man_...

"What the hell's gotten into you?" Harvey barks at her, frowning.

"Nothing," She says quietly, looking out of the window.

She wonders if it's a thing…._them and cars_. They fought there. Were fighting back. _So much for the possibility of limo sex at some point…_

"Did a bug crawl up your ass today? You woke up fine..." He remarks, huffing.

"Harvey...just...leave it, okay? It's fine." She shrugs, her eyes flicking to him before she moves to look out the window once again, thankful for the quickly changing scenery.

It wasn't her to deny things to him. But then again, her life and her own private world had never been scrutinised before. It was always _him_. His life. His work. His job. Until being fired, they'd both forgotten that she was there as anything other than a grand courtesy to him.

He huffed, looking out of his side of the car.

_He had...no idea_, _absolutely no idea what was going on with her._

* * *

They now had sat in silence for about half an hour, avoiding each other on their prospective sides of the car like they were in the middle of divorce proceedings.

They reach her apartment first. He looks to her, as she shuffle out the other side of the car and into oncoming traffic.

He grumbles under his breath, almost leaping out his side to meet her by the open trunk as she fishes out her suitcase, a marked tension on her face. When she reaches to shut the trunk his hand comes up, stopping her. She looks at him, frustrated and tired and lacking in a witty comment. She lets go, relinquishing in favour of allowing him to put down the boot, as she skirts past him, the wheels of her suitcase crunching as they move between street tarmac and the stone sidewalk.

He quickly walks to the front of the car, mumbling 'ten minutes' to Ray before catching the apartment main door in the wake of her opening it.

He just about remembers that she lives on the second floor, skipping up the stairs, knowing that she'd have taken the elevator with her suitcase. He's more tired than he would have expected, a slight pant as he lingers by the moving elevator on the second floor,

Until a thought catches, and he hears the elevator move up past him.

_She lives on the third floor. Typical… _he thinks to himself, jogging up the next flight of stairs.

"Donna," He calls, catching her just in time, the sound of the lock going in the middle of the corridor, and nearly misses her going in, his foot colliding with the door as his right hand wraps around it. "Donna?" He says roughly, the rising annoyance in his voice peeling.

She stares at him and it reminds him of before, _of the mock trial and pushing her too far_.

_Only difference is he cares a little more and a little less this time. _

"What are you-" Her outrage get's masked by his interrupting her.

"Donna? What the hells' going on?" He says, slowly but firmly opening the door until she lets go with a huff, walking into her apartment.

"I told you to just…let it go." She huffs.

"I can't let it go, when you're acting like an….**this**." He wants to say 'asshole'. It doesn't seem appropriate. "Tell me. What _could_ I have possibly done wrong in the last three hours?" He asks with a huff, one hundred percent sure that he's done absolutely zilch to deserve her sudden cold shoulder.

She stares at him, a frown chiselled between her eyes, her hair whipping as she looks about the room. "Nothing. Okay?" She replies, exasperated, eyes wide as her arms flap at her sides.

"Right." He nods, sighing. "Then what is it? If it's not _me_, then it's _you_. So what's wrong with _you_?"

"I just...I need time, Harvey."

"No you don't. What is it?" He presses, his voice commanding, but so much softer than he'd even give himself credit for.

"Can't I just need time away to process all this?" She asks, softening against her own tenuous reply.

"If that's what you wanted, then you don't have to be a jerk about it, but I know that that's _not _it. So save me the time of trying to understand and just tell me."

They stare each other down for a moment, him waiting on a knife edge and her on a proverbial cliff.

"It's going to sound stupid." She says finally, cutting the silence in the room.

"Donna. You're usually a pretty rational person." He notes, moving towards her. "What's going on?"

She sighs then, chewing her lip as a frustrated jumble of thought seems to knot together. "The closer we got to the city, the more stupid the idea of us seems. There._ I said it_." She says, flicking her hair over one shoulder.

He sighs then. _It's that thing. The thing she said before - that he really didn't care about - but that clearly had been occupying her mind_.

_It wasn't a fleeting thought for her._ He relaxes, a small smile falling on his face as his head tilts, looking at her.

Clearly, they still had a lot to learn about each other.

"So this was the non-rational side you were mentioning?" His eyebrow quirks, a kind of adoration in his eyes as his head tilts to the side.

"It's not funny, Harvey." She narrows her eyes, trying at the frustration inside of her.

"It's a little funny." He admits, a small smile creeping into one side of his mouth.

"Harvey," She chides, rolling her eyes at his complete disarming of the situation and how he can win her so easily now.

"You know, it's refreshing to know that this is the one and only thing you can't figure your way out of." He says, walking towards her minutely, his eyes watching her body language as it stiffens just a touch.

"Haha. '_**Donna doesn't know what to do**_**'**. I'm sure that's_ hilarious _for you." She comments, making a face at him as she folds her arms. He's not in the least bit deterred, as continues to close the gap between them, that slight 'come hither' stare of his as he finally manages toe to toe with her.

"It's just going to take time, Donna. But getting pissed at me for no reason, isn't going to solve that. It's just going to make me pissed at _**you.**_ And that doesn't help anybody."

"How rational of you." She remarks, her gaze measuring him. "Not the student anymore?" She quips dryly.

"I had a good teacher." He shrugs, gently releasing her grip off of her luggage; his hand traveling up the inside of her arm and around her waist, watching as her lips twitch slightly and that narrow look in her eyes narrows a little more as he smiles slightly wider. "Now. You irritable woman; I think you should come home with me. Not _only_ because I'd really like to have sex with you again, but because I think that taking the rest of today and tomorrow to just find our feet would be good; save us from diving in the deep end of it all on Monday,"

"Harv-" She tries to interrupt him, but somehow for the first time he has the upper hand.

"Ahh! Donna? Then, we can take Sunday, take a day apart before starting back at work? Okay?" He confirms, his hands running down her arms, the action apparently soothing as she stills for a moment.

"I have Yoga on Saturday." She finally says, a slightly school-girlish look on her face.

"What? You can't go to yoga from mine on Saturday?" He offers, raising an eyebrow.

A long pause opens, his face challenging hers, waiting for her to form a sentence.

It's possibly the longest she's ever gone without having something profound or funny to say in his presence. He wonders rather seriously and idly just what their lack of relationship has really done to her. And how he out of the two of them may have gotten the better end of it all these years.

"Donna?" He asks, noting the long silence.

Her face animates for a second. "I need to do laundry…"

"Donna. Get what you need. In ten minutes, if you're not ready, I'm carrying you out of here." He says, a smirk of opposition in his features as he stares her down.

"Sit." She says finally, regaining some familiar composure.

He smiles, and does as is told.

She's particularly fast for someone whom he's had to placate for fifteen minutes. He texts Ray to let the guy know they'll be another ten before his eyes take to swimming about the lounge.

It's been a decade nearly, since he's even been here. And he's completely behind on her life, he sees. Pictures with people and friends he's never met. Family he's only met a handful of times - thankfully, as her family are a eventful nightmare, one he hopes to avoid for a while at last - amidst trinkets and books and vintage movie posters all gilt framed. It occurs to him, rather poetically, as it seldom does, that, despite their job roles - with him shining forefront and her in the back making things happen - they are quite the reverse as people. She is the sun. Gold and sharp and loud and shining, and he's the moon, dark and hard and streamlined and tempered.

They are two types of reverse with one another. And only now did it make sense why he and Scottie could never have truly worked it out.

Scottie was also the Moon. There was too much heaviness, too much undercutting and too much hard quality between them. It was a strange revelation, to have in your current, _something's_ apartment about your ex.

"You okay there?" He hears her say, looking down at him with amused eyes.

"Sure, just...is that Louis?" He suddenly says, standing up to walk towards a collection of photos, one of which has Donna, somewhat younger being squeezed by a very happy and less balding Louis. _With Braces_.

"Uh. Yes. The Opera. Before Rachel, I was his only go-to."

"So that means… I'm not obligated to go with you? Right?"

She hits him with the flats she's holding, rolling her eyes at his completely male outburst. "With Rachel and Louis, that leaves you free at least ninety-two percent of the time. In fact, I'll wager that Louis will be mildly displeased if I start going with you more than I do with him."

"Mm. I might get Jealous?" He purrs the words pulling her to him.

"Wouldn't that be interesting?" She imagines, as his warms against her, his hands sliding around her back.

His face is deadpan in an instant. "You remember me getting jealous, right?" He finally admits, this time almost proud of the fact.

"Let's _not_ beat the crap out of Louis," She offers, flapping her shoes onto his shoulder as his lips graze hers, his tongue just catching on the inside of her top lip.

"I'll try. It wouldn't be the first time I've been pulled off of him." He points out between kisses.

"Your hooliganism is not one of your better qualities, have I not told you that yet?" She offers.

"I've seen your looks afterwards." He rolls his eyes, unperturbed.

"I was only allowed to give a look before," She says, that seductive twinkle in her own eye, before walking away from him to grab her things. "Come on; _Ray is waiting_." She says, unzipping the bag on the floor to pop the flats into."

For a moment he's taken aback by her little nap-sack. "You got enough there?"

"Hey mister; I've been away from home for a week now. I haven't had a shower in my own place and I have yoga tomorrow. I need these things."

"You say it like we've been camping for a week!"

"What can I say, I like my home comforts…"

"Come on," He taps her hip walking past and issuing her into the hall.

* * *

They arrive at his half an hour later, slightly calmer and more the mood he had been hoping for. She still seems a little edgy for Donna still, and he's no less surprised by it, by the sudden insecure softness in her. He had gotten used to her being all hard quality around him, and even during the retreat she had maintained that certain confident swagger about her. But it was easy back there. And for her, he suspected there was a certain element of theatrical fantasy that their current thud to earth couldn't smooth over.

Currently he's watching her from the breakfast stools as she wanders around his apartment like she's in a museum.

"Having fun over there?" He asks, smirking against the stack of papers that have been delivered over their weeks absence.

"This apartment…" She breathes, looking to him matter of factly. "Is beautiful." She muses, deferring her look to the open balcony.

"It does." He shrugs, glancing at the one-ads.

"_**It 'does'**__?__**" **_She gawps, popping a hip. _"_You have a penthouse apartment on fifth, overlooking the park and _**'it does'**_ is that only thing that springs to mind?" She asks, folding her arms.

"What can I say. I've lived here a very long time." He says, turning the last page of the newspaper, before placing it on the counter, intention marking his face as he looks to her.

She straightens, her eyes widening with a humour as her chin lifts in expectation.

"Get over here." He commands, smirking.

"Get over here…?" She offers, giving him a look.

"Now?" He offers, staring blankly back at her. She laughs then, guttural and honest.

_He loves that she gets him. Even when he's an asshole. _

She saunters over to him, stretching her arms between the stools on either side of him, as she settles between his thighs. It's an oddly polarized position for them both, and yet the prospect of many options from this point on turns him on. His lips find hers as his hands slide to her ass.

"So… dinner?" He offers.

"Chinese?" She says, her hands creeping under his shirt.

"Perfect." He replies, humming when her cool fingertips slide over his abs.

"_And sex in a bed that isn't completely devoid of form_. But that maybe also have the remnants of eight percent of eligible women in Manhattan." She says making a face.

"I'm not even gonna touch that one." He frowns.

* * *

Hours later he's in the mood to go out. Despite having been out for a week now, he feels the need to be outside in the open air with this particular beautiful woman instead of holed up in his penthouse. They decide to go to a chinese and thai fusion restaurant called Nanking that's been getting about as good a review as the rest of the plays alongside it on broadway, and figuring what a thespian she is he deems it a pretty natural choice. Despite the amount of traffic and the thirty minute wait for a Friday night he's surprisingly at ease and more than a little turned on by Donna's very shiny and bespoke black dress.

"Whos' this by?" He remarks, sliding his hands around her rib cage.

"Gucci." She hums, her thick kohl rimmed eyes flashing green at him as she licks her lips.

He hums in appreciation, his hands settling around her back, "And the leather?" He enquires, his fingers exploring the silky texture.

"Python."

"So not treading the environmentalist route tonight then?" He jokes, his face settling next to hers as his eyes flick about the orange lit bar.

"We're at a asian restaurant where I believe there is frog, duck and god knows what else on the menu." She defends, shrugging. "Besides, I look hot in it." She pouts.

"You _do_ look hot in it," He agrees his lips gravitating to her cheekbone. "A little too hot for a place filled with people.

When he kisses her just below the ear she wants to punch him for feeling it encourages. That shiver that shoots from both nipples, through her diaphragm and all the way over her stomach, whilst emitting a toothy smile to pull from ear to ear. It's even worse or better or stronger a feeling when his hands wrap around her waist and pull her flush against him, and god forbid his lips graze the end of her earlobe…

"Harvey," She breathes, a sigh escaping her as she coyly stirs the fruit in her Tom Collins, her eyes observing the other people at the bar staring right back at her. When he's finished he's smiling and she's trying to scowl through the violent blush appearing across her face.

"Enjoy that, did you?" He plays, pleased with himself.

"If people from work see us," She warns.

"Then it'll make it an easier transition on Monday," He reasons.

"You're not helping," Her face falls, glaring at him.

"Oh I think I'm tons of help." He purrs, his lips touching her temple as she feigns annoyance.

"You're tons of something," She measures, a reservedness taking over.

"Are you always going to play hard to get from now on?" He asks, a humour in his features.

"Was the first ten years not enough of an indication?" She smiles.

"Touche." He says, his hand falling just past her abdomen, grazing the black silk there.

She straightens, eyes flicking to his before she looks away, trying to be nonchalant. "Touch me like that again and you better have a finale planned." She mumbles to him.

He stares, wide eyed at her for a second before smirking. "I didn't know you were this easily affected by me," He says, hiding the arrogance of his smile in her hair.

"Drink it up. I'll get bored of you eventually." She sighs, feigning disinterest.

"Is that going to be in the next ten years, _**or**_?" He asks, his fingers tightening around her, something serious laced in the humor of his words.

She glances at him, notices that little pinker in his words. She feels a little guilty. And suddenly aware of how soft he is with her now.

"You're adorable when you're insecure." She remarks, letting her hands slide to his shirt, and the absence of a well dressed silk tie that she's so used to finding there.

"Don't patronise me," He says, pulling her to him with a deliberate roughness.

"Or what?" She challenges, her eyebrow quirking up with promise.

"Or I'll just…" The rest of his sentence falls into her hair as he whispers his plans into her ear, more than aware of the intention. Her eyes widen in response, her jaw quirking to the side at his brazen proposal as she becomes aware of the people around them and the blush creeping up her chest.

"Let me guess. You're not just a member of the mile high club but also _the disabled bathroom club_?" She says, the sarcasm dripping on her wry smile.

"They have a lot of room to maneuver." He smirks.

"And it's free to sign up?" She plays, pouting.

"I can get you in," His eyebrow quirks. "_And let's not pretend that I'm the only experimental one here_," He counters, giving her waist a squeeze as his eyes linger on a dusting of freckles that peek through her almost translucent skin.

She sighs deliberately. "You're right. I did have sex in Shea Stadium once."

"Really?"

"It was the 90's. _He was boring. _But adequately supplied with..." She muses.

"Charm?" He offers.

"If that's what you want to call it." She smirks; the devil about her.

"'Adequately' _meaning_?"

"It's not always about _that_, you know," She scoffs, taking the last sip of her drink.

He straightens unnaturally, his jaw twitching. "Right. I wouldn't know, because I don't have that problem." He smiles cockily.

"You know what? Nobody likes a bragger. And if you saw Mike's then you might not be so smug…" She says, relishing in the gossip.

"You've seen _Mike's_?" He asks, an immediate interest in his voice covering the slight irk of withheld information.

She turns to him, a warning look on her face. "_One_," She says, pointing finger at him. "I met him in the downstairs bathroom about nine times in the first 6 months he worked with us. And _two_...Rachel talks."

"So it's…?"

"Every single one has it's charm." She remarks, stifling a smug smile.

"Donna," He presses.

"It's enough. Why, you thinking of trying to bag that?"

"Do I look like the type of guy that would go for Mike?"

"Actually, you look like a Jeff, kind of guy."

"That is one attractive man." He says, the admittance of such painting his face.

She double takes his comment, humour painting her features. "You need a minute?"

He frowns immediately. "_Oh, like you wouldn't_…" He says, rolling his eyes as his hand plays on her back.

"Now I'll bet Jeff has a very-"

"Okay," He interrupts, giving her a look as he struggles to hold his ground. In seconds he's warm and fuzzy and it has nothing doing with the Macallan sitting on the counter, still swimming from where it had been placed on the bar untouched. "You look beautiful by the way." He remarks, changing the subject as it occurs to him.

"Thankyou," She softens, that sky smile he's been seeing so much lighting up the corners of her mouth. The need to kiss her flutters in his gut. He tests the waters, placing a kiss to her temple as she molds against him. He struggles to concentrate against the feeling of her, sheer and silky and cool to the touch; her hips deliberately leaning into his in a way that completely fills his head. He leans back, brushing her suddenly unruly hair out of her face, as she looks up at him, her eyes a little glazed under the cover of thick lashes.

She feels his lower lip brush between hers, the electricity between them making her tongue tingle, as his, wet and wanting glides against hers. She restrains the moan as it begins rising up the long column of her pale throat, the feeling of his hands in her hair and she is suddenly so lost in him that she struggles to understand how they got to this place.

He rests his forehead against hers, smiling his own smile.

"I'd really like you to take me home…right now." She breathes.

"I'd really like take you home, too," He agrees, his darkened eyes softening. "But in the interest of getting to know each other we should probably stay."

"We already know each other." She breathes.

"Donna," He smiles, amused by her impatience.

"Okay. We wait five minutes. If we don't get seated by then, I order takeout on the way?" She offers.

"Ten Minutes." He barters.

"You got yourself a deal, Reginald." She agrees.

"Say my middle name again and I'll grab your boob in front of all of these people…"

"You wouldn't," She challenges, doubt in her wide eyes before scrutinising just how serious he might possibly be.

He's deadly serious, his hand sliding up her ribcage, a mischievous look on his face.

"Harvey," She warns, yelping slightly in an attempt to grab his hand. "I will slap you in the face,"

"You wouldn't dare," He presses, enjoying the feeling of her hand over his as it slides precariously higher, the look he's giving her rises her ire and entertains him even more when she scrambles to remove his hand and he laughs at her out of character and feeble attempt to deter him.

He loves this, he realises. Absolutely loves it and doesn't know how he's lasted so long without having her like this. Being with her like this.

"Move in with me." He says in a flash, the words rolling off of his tongue with the kind of intention she's never seen.

Her face flashes to his, eyes wide and mouth unnaturally devoid of words.

He interrupts, a slight panic ensuing him. "I know it's too soon, and I know you want to take it slow but...you know how I feel about you."

"How do you...feel about me?" She asks, stepping disjointedly over the words.

His head immediately falls to the side, gawping slightly at her pushing him and despite the fact that he doesn't feel like he's in a corner for the first time in his life.

"Donna, come on. You know I'm in love with you. And that jerk part of me just wants to have you all to my-"

"You're..._in love_ with me?" She asks, her face falling in between shock and warmth.

"What? You want it in sky writing?" His face falls, a typical Harvey laden deadpanned expression as he frowns at her.

Her face softens into another shy smile. "Funny. I just...didn't think you were...capable of feeling like that," She feigns nonchalance, her shoulder quirking in indifference despite the violent blush.

"Yeah...I figured that out...It was only gonna be you."

"You don't know that. You might have walked around the corner and found the woman of your dreams." She reasons. "It happens."

"Donna," He argues. "It's just you."

"We are really doing this aren't we?"

"You only just figured that out?" He smirks, his hands softening on her hips.

"I may or may not have been taking some of," She gestures between them, "This, with a tiny a pinch of salt."

"What, did you have an alternate?" He jokes, before the idea becomes a realistic one. "Donna?"

"No I just...I was being ultra realistic. Until now."

"You're going red-" He says, his look bordering on adoration. "er. And I'm not just talking about that fabulous hair of yours." He remarks, picking a strand up to flick the end.

"Just kiss, me you romantic fool," She orders, smiling finally.

"Yes Mam," He replies, kissing her softly.

_He feels it then. _

The eyes on him. _Them._

The attention.

Donna seems to feel it too, as they disconnect, her hands sliding down his shoulders.

_When he looks to his right, she's the last person on earth that he expects to see..._

"Scottie," He says, his hands falling to his sides.

She stands there, exactly the same as the last time she'd seen him in his office, her hair dark and thick and symmetrical, her dainty form dressed up in a formal white dress. He feels a lump rise in his throat, Donna visibly stiffening next to him. He turns to Donna, ready to ask her wait. She nods before he can say a word, and he's immediately grateful, walking towards Dana. There's hurt in her eyes as she all but retreats in the direction of the bathroom. He follows immediately, hating himself a little for leaving Donna completely unattended in the process. _God only knows what asshole she'll have to endure whilst he's gone..._

* * *

He catches up with Scottie, managing to grab her arm before she can disappear into the women's bathroom.

"Scottie," He says tiredly. "It's been three months." He reasons, as if it's any consolation. The fact of the matter doesn't lessen the guilt he feels.

"I should have known it would happen...the moment I left." She says, the words razor sharp.

"Dana. It happened a week ago."

"You know what Harvey, it is none of my business who you get into bed with,"

He wants to tell her that it's more than that. That he can't believe that she's holding him with such a low disregard for someone he's known almost as long as her.

"Scottie. It's…it's more than that."

He watches her visibly deaden at his words, the need to skip the gap of silence as he steps towards her.

"I wanted to tell you. Somewhere better than here. That...I…"

"Harvey," She shakes her head, her eyes glazing against her stereotypical need to hold in any emotion from him.

He can see in her eyes, the pleading for him to stop.

"I just...I don't want to play if off, and then you find out the truth later. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

She smiles, bitter and irritated for a second. He watches the gambit of emotions run over her face before she straightens, as if she's come to some pressured resolution in three easy steps.

She shrugs, her chin lifting. "She always did know how to handle you."

"Yeah." He nods, his mouth drawing out into a line. "Someone's gotta keep me in line."

She smiles then, a real smile, if not a little sad. He watches patiently as she draws a breath. "I'm going to miss the possibility of spontaneous sex with you."

"Me too." He smirks, relief washing over him. "Are we…?" He gestures, feeling slightly inappropriate asking but needing in his heart of hearts to know.

"We will be." She nods, curtly.

"Good." He nods back. "Listen, I better…" He gestures back to the restaurant.

"Yeah." She nods, folding her arms.

Before he can turn around his name has fallen on her lips. "Harvey?" He turns, looking to her.

"Yeah?"

"Don't screw it up with her." She says, a warning glare with just a hint of warmth.

_He knows that he won't. She just means too much._ "I'll try not to." _At least not enough to ruin them. _"Bye Dana." He smiles, a pinker in his gut at the finality of it all.

"See you in the trenches?"

"I look forward to it. At least this way you'll have to fight fair this time."

"Oh Harvey...sex isn't the only way to play dirty," She smirks, turning on her heel and into the women's restroom.

_He hopes she's okay and it's just being strong for him. Trouble is that he couldn't do anything to fix it if he tried...such is a breakup._

When he gets back, Donna has indeed been accosted. He smiles, watching as a tall dark and thirty something tries to win her over whilst having no idea what he's gotten himself in for. He can see Donna, narrow gazed and demure, putting up an half-fight, until her eyes notice him, and she smiles, catching the guys attention as he follows Donna's gaze, before unceremoniously picking up his drink and leaving _his significant other_ to lean against the bar, a playing smile as he reaches her.

"That was easy." He remarks cockily, nodding in the direction of the young man who's now animatedly telling a story to his rabble of friends along the otherside of the bar, no doubt down playing his failure to land his intended victim.

"Yeah, I thought he was going to put up a little more fight than that," She snorts, her hands sliding between his jacket and shirt. Her face grows serious for a moment. "How was it?"

"Okay," He nods. "I think we should go though...you know?"

"Yeah. I think it's best." She nods, a sad smile on her face.

"I have an idea though…" He offers, watching as her face collects the information in a way he'll never truly understand.

"I know exactly what you're thinking and that is a fabulous idea." She smiles warmly, allowing him to escort her out of the restaurant.

* * *

A twenty minute and forty dollar cab ride later and they're sat in exactly the same place they had done so long ago, neon lit and oddly packed for such a late hour. He watches as she scours the menu, completely overdressed for a diner. He laughs to himself, examining her.

Her eyes catch at his intense stare.

"Gucci is a little much for here." He comments.

"I look fabulous, regardless." She says, referring back to the menu.

"How much did that cost?"

"You should know by now Harvey, it's rude to ask a lady how much she spends on clothes, bags, shoes or anything to do with her appearance."

"I already know how much you spend on bags." He points out, a well played arrogance on his face.

"_But not shoes_." She points out.

"I could guess?"

"Why so interested all of a sudden?"

"It's just good to know...for the future."

"The future, huh?" She plays, finally warming to his strange little outbursts as they come in spades.

"I may want to buy you a dress one day." He shrugs, washing off her interest.

"You know...I think you're the only guy in world who enjoys taking a woman shopping."

"Well...not just any woman. And you're remarkably easy to chaperone despite your temperament."

"Well, when your Boss buys you a four hundred dollar bag on a whim, you make a quick decision." She replies shrewdly.

"Is that all I am to you? Your meal ticket?" He challenges, quirking an eyebrow at her.

"Of course not. You're also my sex toy." She gives him a look, screwing a napkin up just throw it at him.

"Hey!" He says, "You have no table manners..." He shakes his head.

He watches as something lights up the periphery of her mind, making her sit a little straighter and almost out of her seat.

"What?" He asks, watching her try to land the attention of one of the busy waitresses. A moment passes before a little brunette finally saunters over to them both.

"Good evening guys, I'm Sam. Can I take your order?"

"Actually...first. do you have a booth free?" Donna asks.

"Uh," The girl looks around her, before spotting one in the back. "Yes we do. Do you guys want to move?"

"Yes please." Donna smiles.

"Sure. Come with me." The girl shrugs, walking over to the other booth to arrange it from a four person to a two.

"Donna?" Harvey frowns, but follows her to the other table, watching as she slides into the booth. He starts to make his way around the other side before his name catches on her lips, somewhat more seductive than before. She points a finger, beckoning him to sit next to her. He smirks, sliding into booth on her side with a look of confusion middled with interest and all the while mildly turned on by the options flitted through his head at her bold gesture.

"What's going on?" He frowns briefly.

"_That seat._ That's the old us. The us, where you sat there, a day after we slept together and told me that you wanted me to work with you."

His face falls in understanding. "Donna," He starts, before she interrupts him. "I,"

"Harvey it's not your fault." She interrupts. "I never had the guts to tell you that I would have rather dated you and instead agreed on my terms. But that over there? Was the old us. Boundaries, and friendship, and being a kickass team. Over here," She gestures to the table they're sat at "If it's really what you want...is the _new_ us. Where we get to sit on the same side and eat fries together and I get to touch you and not think that there's anything wrong with that, regardless of if we work together or not."

"SO, you're finally coming around to the idea?" His face falls into a smile. "Took you long enough," He remarks, his face dropping when she bats him on the chest to concentrate.

"If this doesn't work...then we still have that, over there." She says, gesturing to their old table.

"Okay. And if we have a work problem. We sit over there,"

"And for everything else we sit over here. Exactly." She smiles.

"You're a strange and beautiful woman."

"Oh you've not seen anything yet," She remarks, trying not to dent at his compliment. "Remember that I warned you." She says, eyes wide.

"I think I'll be able to deal with it." He says.

"So we gonna make out or what? There's no point in having a booth if we don't at least make the most of it."

"Always one for putting on a show, huh?" He says as his fingers lace into her hair.

* * *

When Donna shuts her front door behind her, her entire apartment feels different.

Alien.

Past.

She drops her bag onto the couch, opening the drapes in every room, airing the place with open windows and the strong smell coming from the coffee machine.

It only occurs to her, twenty minutes in… just two things.

The first, is that she misses him dearly..._it that were even possible after leaving his condo an hour and a half ago, _

And the second,

Is that the coffee, the light, the sound of the city, are a welcome reminder of his absence here.

She plans to change that, she thinks, the resolution of such a thing washing over her in encompassing waves.

They are something else now.

_Something that not even she can deny anymore._

* * *

_Just a filler. I love writing these two idiots in their day to day. Deciding where to take this atm. A -_


End file.
